Whew, boy, I missed posting this here yesterday (though if you follow my IG, you would have seen it!), but still useful in that three day window you can really dive deep into Full Moon energy.
In my Membership group, I do a collective Full Moon reading and more for our group, so check out my revamped Membership group and join if you like my approach to the medicine.
As a Gemini Ascendent, I would just like to keep this brief, even though that is not my forte. It's the Full Moon, witches, in Gemini. We are focusing on our communication, confusion, mixed messages and our own stories. You know, the story of what happened that may or may not be true, but is the story you keep telling yourself in your head, or telling anyone who will listen. It is time, friend, to look at that shizzle. This actually is a great aspect to ask the right questions to get good answers, but the key is asking the right questions. Don't ever ask a question you do not want the answer to, especially in this lunation, but if you want to know, ask. I have a list of questions, but I am going to shut up now before I put my giant Gemini rising foot in my mouth. I’ll let my graphics speak for themselves!
Have a drama free Full Moon in Gemini, if that is even possible.
Struggling with facing your own demons? Feel like you are missing a piece of the puzzle in your life?
No fear, the Scorpio New Moon is here to hold up a big ass mirror so you face the truth of things and call them by their proper name.
Hey, it might be someone else, but I am just going to say that 98% of the time it is you, honey. Y-O-U.
This New Moon in Scorpio can be emotionally transformative if you let it, or you can fall back into the role of Victim or Martyr, if you'd like. This is 100% your choice, but if you let the Moon do its thing, you are more like to uncover some uncomfortable, yet life changing truths, clarify where you stand and why. Just let yourself HOWL this new moon, and by HOWL, of course, I mean, Honest, Open-minded, Willing and Loving.
You can do this work. I believe in you.
Pluto and Mars are drinking straight black espressos and placing bets on you as we speak. Have fun.
I threw in a little tarot layout for your amusement and to help the process along. It’s a doozy. Called my shit out in typical Scorpio style, but this Capricorn is here for it. I need that, and so do you. You're welcome.
Welcome to Scorpio Season, Shadow Walkers! Hold onto your existentialist tomes, pull out your death journals, we are in Scorpio season where we contemplate life, the universe, the present moment, absurdity, death and rebirth, sex and then, like everything else (I said that like Loren Michaels in my head.)
Scorpio is a fixed water sign, which means in its essence, it is both moving, flowing, flexible, emotional AND stubborn, rigid, and seeking stability. Fixed signs harness their element’s strongest qualities. And Scorpio harnesses, as Chani Nicholas says, the power of its emotional intensity. Scorpio is transformative in its way of being—pushing the perishing parts of us to finally die so rebirth can happen, transmuting into something more aligned with who they are. They are alchemists in that way.
While Scorpio’s fixedness gives it a stubbornness, which is both useful and annoying to their partners (ahem, Sam Yingst), they also seek freedom and liberation. Scorpio is defiant by nature, in the best way possible. Scorpio subverts the dominant paradigm. They throw the lightning strike that brings the Tower down. Scorpio enjoys conversations that go deep, emotionally vulnerable, intense, connective. Scorpio wants us to face the truth that we are one day going to die and so we must pay attention to the present moment. The present is made precious, in Scorpio’s mind, by the reality of death. Scorpio says, “Face your fears. Face your death. Face your Shadow. Face your Trauma. Embrace them. Play some Rummy. Have some tea. Make friends. Then be in the moment with all them co-existing in you.” Scorpio, the Emotional Revolutionary, the Goth Kid of Astrology, the Peaceful Warrior, and ones that point to the Emperor and say, “That dude nekkid.”
Scorpio’s often get accused of being too aloof, but they are observers—observers of the World and watchers of the humans (sometimes Scorpio humans feel detached from humanity, like they are from another time and place). They are conscious of what works, of systems, of human nature. They understand human nature, particularly the Shadowy parts. Through routine and systems of doing, they take out all the thought of anything superficial, so they can focus on deeper things, like the whys and hows. That routine can sometimes give Scorpio the reputation of being controlling, stubborn or unable to play peacefully in the sandbox with others. (Group projects annoy Scorpios unless they are doing it all, then they get resentful of the ”idiots in their group”.) Scorpios can have that black and white thinking in practice with lots of grey areas in theory, so they seek to both harness and to liberate. It is a contradiction that makes Scorpio such a deep, powerful season (and if you have Scorpio in your top three [Sun, Moon, or Rising], you know this makes you a deep, powerful human too.)
That power scares mere mortals.
Scorpios are not afraid of their power. They will wield it when it benefits them. Most Scorpios have a very strong sense of ethics and mortality, and so use it for good. They are excellent readers of humans. If you want a reliable first impression, ask a Scorpio. They do not hold back. They do not suffer fools, unless that fool is engaging in some of their favorite pastimes like absurdist and silly conversations, dark humor, sarcastic and witty repartee and finding meaning in everything.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about the inherent connection to death and sex. You find Scorpio one of the more demonized signs in the Zodiac, but that is because Scorpio is ruled by Pluto and Mars. Pluto rules the Shadow issues, particularly death, existence, emotions, and truth. You know, those little things. Mars is the warrior, active, ready to fight, upturn or honestly have a little nooky, if that is offered. Scorpio walks the razor’s edge of existence—the liminal space between the present moment and the infinite, action and contemplation, truth and lies, the real and the imaginary, anxiety and bravado, sexiness and prudishness, life and death. Scorpio looks at the underbelly of society and says, “I bet they make some good art there. Let’s check it out.” Scorpio season honors real in the bluntest ways, showing you the real blood and guts of a situation or situation. But they bravely reveal the shadow, talk about it, take the elephant in the room for a ride, then return it to its true home.
I find most Scorpios fairly introverted, playing their cards close to their chest. But they often do not see themselves that way. In fact, they seek community, but in time of anxiety or fear or contemplation, they isolate and sometimes self-harm. It is their nature. It can be through overly indulging in some soul sedative (sex, masturbation, drinking, drugs, alcohol, eating, gambling, anything traditionally thought of as addictive), or it can be through repetitive working out, deprivation, challenges, or of course hurting oneself. Again, Scorpio is dark. They are the ones that would say they wanted to feel something, anything, and self-harmed. This is the Shadow of Scorpio—avoidant, dissociated, unable to swim in the complex seas of Pluto and Mars. But in their light, Scorpio is emotionally aware, often the most emotionally mature in the room, calling things by their proper name—Sensitivities, be damned!
It is time to take a walk on the shadow side with Scorpio. Enjoy it. We have a Lunar Eclipse on Friday, October 28th in Taurus, which stands directly opposite Scorpio on the Astrological wheel—a fixed earth sign Moon with a fixed water sign Sun.
*Hey, no disrespect. I’m a Capricorn. I get it, Scorpio. In fact, we are pretty much tailor made for each other.
It's Eclipse season and the last of the two year cycle of Taurus-Scorpio Eclipses.
In this episode, Angie talks about the astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for October (the Hermit), and the Earth Medicine allies—Plant Medicine of Mugwort and Damiana; Stone Medicine: Charoite, Moonstone + Hematite as well as work with the medicine of our Spirit Guide the Valkyrie and the Animal Guide of Phoenix
You can listen to this latest episode of Centered on Spotify (https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/VXWTngQezDb) or wherever you listen to podcasts (Amazon, I Heart Radio, Apple Music, Pocketcasts, etc) or right on my website. Or just check out my blog.
Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang! A medicine bundle is for sale in my shop, as always.
You can find October's Medicine Bundle here: https://themoonandstone.com/.../oct-2023-earth-medicine...
Remember I do collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for my membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. We also meet each Friday for circle, and you get free bonus of Q&As with me. Check out more information here:
Blessed Full Moon in Aries.
When we are dealing with Full Moons, we are looking at the Moon being in the sign opposite of the sun, unlike New Moons where the sun and moon are in the same sign. The tension created by the Sun and Moon in opposition can create breakthroughs in our consciousness and allows us to grow, evolve, and transform.
Aries and Libra sit opposite each other in the sky and on the zodiac wheel, so as the Sun sits in Libra, the full Moon lands in Aries. So, we have the Sun in Libra, and we have the Moon in Aries. What relational energy do these two sign have? Well, they are both cardinal signs, meaning they kick off season, they are both leaders and often great at motivation, drive and kicking off projects. It’s the finishing of projects that sometimes challenges Cardinal signs.
The Sun in Libra allows us to work with its vibrations in our energetic bodies. Aries is home to the first house of the self and ruled by Mars, while Libra is home to the seventh house of relationships and ruled by Venus. Mars and Venus. Self and Other. These are our tensions on this Super Moon in Aries. With the closeness to the South Node, this full moon may feel a bit like an Eclipse.
To work with some of this energy, I created a Tarot Layout that might be useful for those of you who use Tarot as a way in and to connect with Spirit.
I love me a Virgo New Moon. Because I love me some labels on bins, neat and orderly cabinets, the organization and order of mouse medicine (paying attention to details). I love streamlining things, and the beauty of efficiency, and Virgo New Moons are great times to get your shit together and implement some efficiency or organization habits.
This is particularly true when it comes to caring for the self. Virgo is a healer & caregiver. This moon is awesome for learning radical self-acceptance, practicing exquisite self-care, implementing some effective care habits, and learning to mother yourself with deep compassion and love.
The New Moon on September 14th is at 9:39 PM EST, and Mercury stations direct on September 15th at 4:21 pm ET. So, the Sun, Moon and Mercury are all happening in Virgo, making this a lovely time to do Virgo work.
Reflect on the last month or so and think about our "mistakes" or the setbacks that arose...what did they teach you? Where is the wisdom in mistake? Where is the beauty in the recovery? And maybe most importantly, what was your first reaction to the mistake or block or error?
And that is the rub this New Moon--the mistakes, the disorganization, the setbacks and how you responded, is the medicine. We are on a fact-finding mission to understand ourselves.
So, reflect over the last lunation, from August's New Moon in Leo to now. Where were your setbacks, then follow it through...why did that arise? How were you or weren't you present in the moment? How did you talk to yourself? How did you soothe yourself? How did self-criticism help or harm? We can look at how we were triggered, then where is the wound? Where did it come from? How can we feel safe? How can we be kind to our wounded self? Where are our joys, our needs and our wants?
The personal Tarot layout for this New Moon is all about self-care and how we can integrate it in with our goals, then develop habits that heal and move us to more radical self-acceptance. I shared my personal reading, and used Laura Tempest Zarkoff 's deck Anatomy of a Witch for extra insight. Blessed New Moon in Virgo!
A watery, mystical, dreamy Pisces full moon at the start of earth and detail-oriented Virgo season awakens your subconscious dream life and brings it in for a reality check. I love that these two mutable signs can help you shift focus from societal prescriptions and comfort to what you really want. Hey, this is a time for dreaming, and maybe even taking it a step further by allowing the Virgo Sun to say, Here are the actionable steps I would take to make that dream a reality.
Don't forget to ground and tap into Earth energy during this dreamy time. It is easy to get that 100 yard stare imagining a different life and seeing a whole other existence that honors who you authentically are. But then again, maybe it just means you are spacey. Whichever, take a moment to cleanse, ground, protect and honor your inner dreams. Write that shizzle down. What changes are you needing? Go back to March 2023's intention...what goal did you set and how has that shifted?
I have a personal Blue Moon Tarot Layout for y’all, so check that out if you are a tarot reader, and here is the collective reading.
Blue Moons are auspicious times, bringing magick & light to our dreams & long term goals. This Blue Moon is wonderful for focusing on setting long-term goals, exploring the deepest of our dreams (the one we daydream about, but never speak aloud), intentions, & releasing what blocks the way to your goals. This Piscean Blue Moon is more mystical & spiritual than other Blue Moons, This tarot layout helps you go deep with your dreams. With this layout we can discern what dreams we are ready to pursue, how to get there and become aware of all those energies that distract us from our goals & bring clarity to our wounded inner voice that lies to us about our worth & limits our infinite potential. Blessed Blue Moon!
Welcome to Virgo Season, witches!
We kick it off with a Mercury stationing Retrograde today, so hang onto your husbands, girls!* And by husbands, I mean, your communications. Keep them in your pants/in your drafts folders. Though this is an excellent time to plan things, because Virgo loves a good five-year plan and is an excellent wind at your back for the details that a bigger picture Earth sign isn't always great at (ahem, I am looking at you, Capricorn!)
Virgo is known for being fussy, but it isn't as much fussy as efficient, analytical, detailed, and a powerhouse of getting shit done. Some of you Air and Water signs might see it as fussy or sticklery, but that is just because you don't mind if the tablecloth is crooked and that is your prerogative. (But you are wrong.) Because it is a mutable earth sign, Virgo can manifest that mutability as anxiety, but it is really attention to all the things at the same time. Everything everywhere all at once. Virgo can make a minor typo feel huge. It is just because it is all important to Virgo brains, because the details make up the big picture, not the other way around. (Again, I am looking at you, Capricorn.) Virgo channels that native wisdom of streamlining, efficiency and order.
Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so you might find this particular Mercury Rx isn't as intense, but I still suggest the planning is more important than the doing in these three weeks.
Virgo heals. Virgos are natural healers, in the sense, that order, stability, and cleanliness heal our chaotic minds. Virgo is the sign of the healer, giver, space holder. So, this is a great season to be engaging in new routines with healing and service work. And by service work, I mean, being of service to fellow humans and/or animal friends. How and where can you be most helpful to your community?
Now, let’s talk a little about Mercury Retrograde. So, are you like,”Angie, are you effing kidding me right now, bro? I thought we were already in Mercury Retrograde?!?! I mean, shit ain’t right already.” We go into a pre-retrograde period a few weeks before it starts, and then go into a shadow retrograde period after it ends. So, you might have been stalking you for a few weeks in its pre-shadow time frame. So, you are already swimming in the soup, people!
Mercury Retrograde has a reputation, because it happens three times a year for three weeks a piece, then counting the pre-retrograde period and the shadow retrograde, that is like a good 2 months 3xs a year, so calculating in my really math-deficient brain that seems like a good 6 months of Mercury doing its thing. It reminds me of my friend Billy during a Daylight Savings time change. He posted something on FB that said, “OMG, stop complaining about the time change. It happens twice a year. JUST GO TO SLEEP!” Or that one cartoon I cannot find now where the Moon is leaning in some lady’s window when she is in bed and says, “Stop blaming me for everything!”
It is because Mercury rules communication, and we often notice electronics being a little temperamental, my dryer is broken, por ejemplo, (I feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder hanging my clothes outside with actual clothes pins. I even wear a bonnet to do it and call my kids Half-Pint.)
Communications is a little wonky, like sending a text before you edited it 15 times or mispelling something on your resume for an editing job...just double check things. Mercury Retrograde is in Virgo, and Virgo is a stickler, so expect those issues of Mercury Rx to be in the little details that drive you crazy. Listen, Mercury Rx is just as important as Mercury Direct...we get to use every part of the Moon + Planetary movements. We can use this time for planning, dreaming, laying out what our steps might be. Take three weeks for that planning time, but hold off on moving forward. I have some tips for you during this time:
And if you use Tarot, here is a cool layout:
If you are up for using crystals, I use a combination of Throat Chakra stones and grounding stones. Throat chakra or communication stones like Aquamarine, Blue Lace Agate, Hemimorphite, Amazonite, and my favorite for Mercury Retrograde is Fluorite, often called the stone of the student. It really helps with clarity and understanding. Grounding stones I use are Hematite, Smoky Quartz, Black Tourmaline and...wait for it, Garnet are great. My friend Chris (Tall Chris Crystals) gave me some Black Garnet, and that is going to be my new GOTO for Merc. Rx. The grid here is Fluorite, Smoky Quartz and Hematite, but you do you, boo.
(*I am quoting Practical Magic, not suddenly shifting personalities here.)
Creative transformative energy! Leonine powers of expression and boundaries are yours! You the shit, babe, and you know it! Find that thing you are exceedingly good at and be exceedingly good at it! Don't use your confident, sexy Leo powers to manipulate others and you be good! Remember almost everything is retrograde, so take it easy with other people! Let this New Moon guide inspiration, boundaries, expression and then do the perspiration part of your goals! You got this! Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens! Remember transformation and annihilation feels the same until the end! Continue being very energetic and excited about every statement with a proverbial or literal exclamation point!
Blessed New Moon in Cancer on July 17th, 2023 at 2:32 pm ET. Time to practice some deep self-care, rejuvenation. The New Moon in Cancer happens the same day the lunar nodes shift signs for the next 18 months. The north node moves into Aries, and the south node moves into Libra. So, we deal with issues around the Self + Others, particularly around boundaries and home. This can be emotional, particularly if you have gone through some deep wounding around family, home, safety and where we feel safe emotionally. It may be a time when we jettison friendships or relationships that threaten us, or do not provide nurturing or safety. Or it can be a time to heal those wounds, or at least give ourselves a kind of closure. When Venus goes retrograde later in the month, it will be hard to have conversations, but this may be a time to do the work around how to heal, how to have conversations, and intuitively how to nurture and heal the self.
Happy new mooning!
Here is my personal one…whew, it was a doozy.
Happy May! Here is the Tarot, Earth and Sky Reading for May with some significant lunations:
The Card of the Month is the Three of Wands and we are working with the Medicine of Arnica, Smoky Quartz, Carnelian and Green Aventurine with the specific beautiful energy of the beloved Condor. You can purchase a medicine bundle of May’s medicine in my shop.
May 1st is also Beltane, or May Day, the energy of fertility, sex, creativity and joy comes through loud and clear and we honor our own fertility and flirty natures. I recorded a podcast with all the history and lore of Beltane as well as a reading.
Blessed Full Moon in Virgo!
It is a great time to look at our work--our soul work, or our jobby job. We have to find that spiritual fulfillment there, and if not, this full moon can help us balancing what our vision of work is supposed to be.
Also, Saturn is moving into Pisces, y'all. I mean, like Saturn is all about structures, and Pisces is very watery and mutable, so what does that look like? No idea. But weird, I imagine. Flowy. We have some years to get used to it. But I imagine we about to get in our feels, yo. And especially around our structures. This could technically be the Age of Aquarius, or the Age of Water.
Since 2017, Saturn has been in its own planets (Capricorn and Aquarius), now it is going to butt heads with our resident empath Pisces, the co-dependent nurturer and indulger. It's going to be a trip, but instead of getting in yo head about it, just enjoy organizing your pantry and color-coordinating your filing system with Virgo's Full Moon, and while you are at it, honor the people you are of service to. They love you! #themoonandstone #fullmooninvirgo
Ugh, I forgot to post my November Earth Medicine + Tarot reading. For the month of November, we are working with the Eight of Swords, Salmon medicine, Thyme and the Crystals: Labradorite, Larimar + Sunstone. We deal with Mars Retrograde and a Lunar Eclipse…holy crap!
Episode 38 answers some questions from our listeners Tarot, Stage Cards, Moon phase work + Retrogrades. Here they are:
Suzanne asked, “Is there a card/s that is always a little difficult to interpret when it comes up in a reading? Conversely is there one or multiple that are easier? 🔮😻”
Tan Hm asked, “Stage cards confuse me! And it would be amazing if you could talk about how to integrate after shadow work.”
Danielle asked, “Phases- from the moon phases and the spiritual meanings, to the spiritual phases (waves) most of us experience in life…. Planet retrogrades and the different impacts depending on the sign if occurs in.”
Suzanne asked, “I know this info is probably somewhere but can you talk a little bit about what "retrograde" means. You can always send a question to angie@themoonandstone.com for me to cover in an upcoming episode or record one on my anchor page at https://anchor.fm/angie-yingst/message
This is eclipse is making me think about seeing things.
Like the one time I was driving to my mother’s house, and I turned my head into a field that had a stream running through it and there was a monkey. Like a real ass monkey. I passed it, processed the scene, then stopped the car completely. A monkey? In rural Pennsylvania? My left brain retorted, “Uh, no, sir. There is an error in that calculation.” I reversed up the country road.
When I came to the spot where the monkey lived, I squinted and looked, but it was just a tree trunk with branches that looked like a monkey. “It changed back to the tree,” I thought.
+ + +
I woke at 3:02 am ET, exactly, the time the eclipse was starting. The moon whispered in my ear…it is time, my love. It is time, seer, to witness the shadow fall over me and change the shape of things.
The entire yard illuminated by the moon, which I could not find. I walked to the west and there it was, like a spotlight over everything. It was totally full and bright and I said, “Here we go.” (As I write this now, the red is starting to creep over the moon from the top down, like a shade is being pulled over it.)
+ + +
This past weekend, I was honored to hold space for women in an earth medicine retreat where we worked with journey and painting to let the right brain drive for a while in a flowy, dreamy third eye dance. We journeyed, drank dream tea, and painted in a meditative state that implored us to get out of our own way. Our right brain just wants to drive for a while, but what happens, inevitably, is we argue with ourselves.
“This looks dumb. Paint something real, m’kay?”
“Shut it, Lefty. I am just flowing over here.”
“That’s not a real painting. Come on. What the fuck is this? Paint something real. We need evidence of art.”
“Maybe you are right. I don’t think I can do this. Maybe I should go nap. No, wait, you are left. I am just doing what is suggested and seeing how it unfolds. It doesn’t have to be anything right now. Nothing is supposed to be perfect.”
“It can be.”
And on and on…my Right Brain, let’s call it Orpheus, often is much more polite than is required. It says, “Thank you for sharing, Logos, but I am not looking for any advice right now.” Logos totally hates that shit. It is a know-it-all with half the information and so Logos keeps sending evidentiary memories to remind you of how flowing and being too creatively free made us objects of ridicule, or where teachers marked us off points for not being in the lines, or when someone called you flakey that one time.
We painted for four hours, the internal dialogue lessening over the sessions and the painting unfolding slowly. My first layer has a lot of optimism and messages of flying high, going for it. I pulled a Rebel Deck oracle card that said, "Get after that shit." And then the second layer turned darker and more defiant. Why are you always getting after shit? Just calm down. Pause.
I handed out secret messages every so often, like reminders from Spirit, a tablespoon of the extra sauce available for the flow. My second secret message said, "Take that Leap." And I just took the black and wrote NO next to it. I don't want to take the leap. (I may look defiant, but I am pliable and follow the rules and get nervous when I hold boundaries or say no.) I let the second layer be angry and defiant and punk rock. Hellz to the yeah!
My third layer came like a breeze, softening, honoring, calling in the medicine of my inner child and my inner mother, the one that sits with change and destruction and soothes. She said, "It's just an illusion of the sun and the earth. The Sun is shining behind you, my love. It is casting a shadow and makes the moon look like it disappears. Do not be afraid, the moon is always there whether we see it or not. You are always there whether you see or not."
+ + +
The night sky is darkening even more now, and the moon is starting to be enveloped by its shadow. I wonder if my writing will be enveloped by shadow too. The Sun is behind us now, as the Moon does her thing. It reminds me of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. The shadow emerges and I wonder if I what I will see in this time and how I will see it. I need another cup of coffee.
+ + +
Then after painting, we ate, then we got ready for a dream/third eye focused collective grid crystal healing for dreamwork. Hot flashes + painting + unseasonably warm weather = Angie needs a shower. My mentor talks about adorning before ceremony, cleansing the energy field, doing the work. I pour a baño over my head, salt and herbs and water flowing over me. It feels so good to be in water. I craved it when I can't take a bath or cleanse this way. Then, in the shower, soap got in my eye. Mint soap. (Do adults regularly get soap in their eyes? Asking for a friend.)
It burned, and I rubbed and rubbed and rinsed it best I could with contacts in. And then it felt like my contact rolled up into my eyelid. I finished the shower and went to look in the mirror to retrieve the contact.
I just couldn’t find it.
I start sweating again, knowing that everyone is waiting on me, but my contact was stuck in my eye. What if it traveled into my brain? What if it caused a massive infection? What if I can’t get it? My left brain was loving this shit. Logos said, “YAY, home surgery!! I watch television where people do surgery all the time. We can do this.”
My right brain was like, “Uh, no. You aren’t getting it out that way. Let’s just go with the flow, man. Plus, you are going into a deep third eye meditation. Maybe there is a reason you cannot see right now. Or you can only see out of one eye. Look deeper, Ang. Look at the thing behind the thing. Just reconcile yourself to the fact that you aren’t seeing from this side tonight. The suffering comes from trying to do something you cannot do, like find a lost contact in your eye.”
I told everyone, and the ladies poked and prodded, and suggested things. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a contact or the sclera, so in the end, I just went on, unable to see out of my right eye, looking like Popeye.
I have terrible eyesight. I mean, I think it is considered 20/500. Meaning what I see at 20 feet is what someone who had good eyesight sees at 500 feet. But I didn’t need to see. I was in the flow of the music of Jonathan Goldman, and the amazing energy of the archangels and ascended masters, the crystals and sacred geometry. I just did what I was trained to do as the wind howled outside and the almost full moon shone through the windows. I stepped into the light and just bathed in the moonlight.
Thank you, I whispered to Grandmother Moon. Thank you for letting me do this work.
+ + +
There is no light outside now. It is like a deep darkness, one that scares me a bit. The stars are suddenly illuminated—always there, but I couldn’t see them with the brightness of the Full Moon.
+ + +
Spirit wanted me to see without seeing, to see perfectly out of my left side and be fuzzy in the right. Fuzzy and tuned in. My eye ached from being manipulated and touched and ran with tears. I could still feel the contact in there, way back behind my eye, but I just trusted and moved into the flow.
Sometimes we have to not see before we can truly see. Sometimes we need to trust that what we need is right there, even if we don’t have evidence for that.
I fell asleep imagining the contact swimming toward my front cortex with little cartoon arms and exploratory tools, like a mini-pickaxe, strapped to its back. In the morning, I looked in my eye again. It felt injured—achy and sore. Still two days later, it feels achy and sore. I still didn't see any contact, but the eye was goopy. I made coffee and pulled tarot cards from the Alleyman Tarot.
Every card and description involved seeing. When the 10 of Eyes came, I realized that even this was the medicine of the weekend. Seeing was preventing me from the feeling. Seeing was preventing me from honoring. It was preventing me from trusting that the monkey was the medicine I needed at that moment. The medicine of laughter, communication, and community. Later in the morning, I found my contact in the sink, stuck half in and half out of the drain.
It was never in my eye. It had fallen out at some point, but I was still looking for something not there. Because wounds feel like that sometimes, like something is there that simply isn’t. Like there is a huge folded up piece of plastic in your eye lid, when it was your own damned finger.
Sometimes you are your own damned irritant.
This lesson is eternal. No matter how much we look outward, we always have a finger poking our own eye.
In recovery, we use sponsors. Sponsors are people who have gone through the twelve steps and guide us through them too. The Twelve Steps basically help you have a spiritual experience by doing some self-reflection, looking at our wounds and the wounding we caused others, asking Spirit to guide you to release the underlying character defects so you can be of maximum service to the world. Sponsors guide you in your spiritual journey, and so we call them when we are poking our own eyes, and seeing things that are not there, and avoiding the things right in front of us. Sponsors are not like therapists though. They often laugh when you are stuck and say, “Yep, that’s how it goes. I remember when that happened to me too. Stop poking your own eye when it hurts. Close your eyes and use your ears instead. Listen.” They can only share their experience, really. They aren’t there to solve the problem, just to think about it in another way.
I am not saying you should become an alcoholic but having a sponsor might be a good thing. You know the person who says, “Did you look in the sink first before you went around doing home surgery without sterilized equipment?” Then they usually say, “Why don’t you pray about it? Why are you trying to fix everything on your own?”
The Left-Brain loves poking at things and doing home surgery and making up conspiracy theories and letting your wounding take on the role of “logic” in your brain. It is the Right Brain that says, “Let’s just make some meaning out of this and go with the flow. Maybe this will lead us somewhere cool.”
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The Moon is completely covered now, there is not even a sliver, and I woke my daughter to see. She saw the blood red of the dark side as it was slowly covered. Then she plodded back to bed. Now it is just a shadow of itself. We honor the crone in the darkness, how the grandmother sits and waits and says, "It all goes too fast." Secrets are said to be revealed this total lunar eclipse in Taurus with the Sun, Venus and Mercury in Scorpio and with Uranus and square Saturn. We are as sick as our secrets; crone sponsors have been saying for decades. Maybe the medicine is the sharing of secrets.
The dogs were not interested in going outside, and I thought about how wise they are not to stand under the moon eclipsing and darkening. They stay inside and cuddle up, preparing for a long day of napping.
In the last few years, as my clientele has grown both at home and online, I have found myself in the precarious position of balancing not just my work life and my home life, but also different aspects of my work. I basically have three jobs—my career at Alta View Wellness Center as a shamanic healer, teacher, tarot reader, and circle leader; I have my own online practice at the Moon + Stone Healing where I write exclusive content and insights on tarot, crystals, energy healing, shamanic healing, soul and shadow work, and spirituality as well as offer distance and online work and teachings; and I am the head of Student Success, Curriculum Specialist, and Crystal Coach at Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy. I am writing and creating an oracle card deck called Cycles, as well as a few other books.
I find myself in this precarious position often. With all the things I offer--teaching, circles, healing sessions, one-on-one healing, reading tarot, teaching tarot--I often have to make choices on what to focus on at any given time. It means I am often an artist not always arting, a writer not always writing, a tarot reader not always reading. I want to give my readers and subscribers more of me, but my time is so limited.
In the last few years, I have sometimes stepped back from offering Tarot readings, or online sessions here and there, just to catch up with my email. What I sacrifice are things like writing my newsletters, offering informational posts on the blog, offering monthly Tarot readings to the public, journeying for our community, developing new offerings on my website, and deepening my presence online to my friends around the world. One of the reasons I step back from these things first is that they are a huge emotional investment. I pour myself into my work. I have never been good at half-assing things. Writing and putting things out in the world takes an outrageous amount of time and energy.
Because I have children to feed and a practice to support, I often choose those offerings where I can earn a living. Money lives in that unspeakable realm, like shadow work and trauma healing and politics, in our metaphysical community. Friends and colleagues struggle sometimes to make ends meet and never mention it to their students, clients or colleagues. We are asked constantly to offer of ourselves for free, even as we are overdrafting in our checking accounts. I’ve never been one to shy away from hard conversations. I want to offer it all for free, but I simply cannot. I often talk to my students about boundaries with our psychic and healer selves, we cannot just give of ourselves endlessly, because there will be nothing left of us. I suppose the quarantine has given me fuel to try to make the things I am passionate about available in a way that also sustains me financially and spiritually.
So, today, I am here to talk about one of the things I have been toying with for a long time—a monthly Tarot Subscription. I am calling it the Moon + Stone Healing Memberships. The Moon + Stone Healing Memberships is a tiered subscription membership that offers different levels of membership and price points so you can connect with regular readings and insight done by me around the moon cycles. They start in May 2020. These are things I always want to do--pull some cards for the collective on the New Moon, or offer a quick shamanic journey, but simply cannot afford to give away. So, I tried to find a way to sustain me, and offer the things on my to-do list that I never get to. Each collective reading will be offered via audio recording on SoundCloud, which you can access as often or as much as you would like. These membership subscriptions renew every month. You can cancel them at any time, though refunds will not be given after the content is delivered each month. Please read each offering carefully. There are only two levels with PERSONAL readings (the Sun + the World).
The baseline offering is the one that you already belong to simply by being a subscriber to my blog and newsletter. I will make this email mailing list worth your while. I will do a monthly video tarot reading posted on my blog, in which I will pull a card for the month, talk about how it affects us personally and globally, and talk about some earth medicine allies. I will post this on my YouTube page, to my blog, all my social media, and send the link in my newsletter. That is what all of you receive as a subscriber to this newsletter or if you subscribe to my RSS feed, or if you follow me on Instagram or on FB. It is free and part of what you get as a subscriber. If you decide you want more, awesome. There is no obligation to do that. But if you decide to subscribe to one of my membership tiers, my commitment to you is that this tier membership program not only will give you awesome content, but will fund more free offerings on my site as well.
STRENGTH TIER $20
The first tier includes three options you can choose:
1. a monthly full moon collective reading (available a few days before the Full Moon)
2. a monthly new moon collective reading (available a few days before the New Moon)
3. a monthly collective shamanic journey (available in the beginning of the month)
These collective tarot readings will be conducted for the entire group of subscribers. They are not personalized. I talk about the energy I am feeling around this Full or New Moon period. These readings will be about 30 minutes long and I will weave in ritual ideas, earth medicine allies, including stones, animal, and plant medicine allies for this moon cycle. These readings will be offered via audio, and available as a private SoundCloud link, so you can listen on the go. You can listen as often as you would like. They will come in an email that will talk about the energy and have exclusive content for each moon. The Shamanic Journey taps into the energy I am picking up for the month (you can view the free monthly reading available on my website free each month). The Journey takes you deeper into the work, so you can do your own journeywork with the medicine arising for you personally each month.
HERMIT TIER $35
This second tier includes two of the three above options, so you can choose the full + new moon collective readings, which means you will be hearing from me twice a month with insights about the moon cycles and what medicine to work with, or you can choose the shamanic journey and one of the moon readings.
HIGH PRIESTESS TIER $47
This tier includes both the full + New moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide
SUN TIER $74
In the Sun Tier, you get both the full + new moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide, plus you get a personal one-card Tarot reading delivered via audio (15-20 minutes) sent to you either the new or full moon.
WORLD TIER $92
In the World Tier, you get it all—both the full + new moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide, plus you get a personal 30-minute Tarot reading sent to you via a private SoundCloud link before either the new or full moon.
Again these tiers are the starting point for me. I plan to add more incentives and offerings to these, so if you have any ideas or wishes, respond to this email with ideas. My goal is to ensure that no matter what level you choose to subscribe at, you’ll get back more than you give.
Gratitude needs to be the root of all my practice. When I wake in resentment, anger, fear, my entire day feels off. It’s not often that this happens any longer. I have reoriented myself toward gratitude. I start gently with a simple prayer of thanks, as my stiff joints shuffle to the bathroom. I use the beginning of the e.e.cummings poem.
I thank you God for most this amazing day.
I watch the sun come up over the snow. The first blush of dawn highlights the waning moon flanked by Venus and Jupiter in the clear winter sky. The beauty betrays the bitter cold of the morning. 10 degrees. I sip my warm lemon water, snuggled in a blanket.
God, thank you for the warmth of my home, for the ability to build a fire.
The beauty way seeks to find beauty in all the things and also to be the one to bring beauty. I cringe at the toys I can see poking out from under my couches, and the clutter that small children bring, and yet their smiles, the warmth of our home (not just physical warmth, but the warmth of love and acceptance), the laughter, the artwork created by big and little hands hanging everywhere radiates beauty.
Great Spirit, may I walk in beauty. Great Spirit, I offer myself to thee.
I am most thankful that I get to do this work of honoring Spirit and tending to the Spirit of others, helping others live in a way that is harmonious—gentle consumption, stewardship of the Earth, sacred living, self-care, and self-mothering. Through my practice, the work I have offered has evolved. From my first circle of psychic development to now, I can see how much I have deepened in understanding and practice. How each moment is a moment of living in shamanic ways. I continually deepen my practice, so this makes sense to me. I have been blessed with many teachers and mentors who continually teach me how to show up despite adversity and grief and life.
Great Mother, thank you for the women who walk before me, who reach back, hold my hand and show me the way forward.
Last year, I experienced deep loss from the death of my beloved father to both of my animal companions (my dog Jack and my cat Magnus). The tenth anniversary of my daughter’s death amplified the grief. I had physical challenges to my health, and emotional challenges to my worth. I have had all my stories rewritten. I have had friends step away. Institutions shaken up. I have had every solid tower in my life brought down to its stone foundation. Thus is the Tower year, the one that brings it all out. Kali, the Dark Mother, helps destroy and rebuild. I honor her way, though it is hard. I honor her.
Dark Mother, thank you for the destruction of lies, and for the solid foundation to build again. Thank you for steady hand on my back as I move forward.
I am in the process of truth-telling about these incidents, and the process of truth-telling about my past and my history, of seeing things with clear eyes. There are stories that I had come to believe down to my core that just aren’t true. I watch and observe and take notes now about what is true and what isn’t. It is powerful work. Challenging, humbling, but good work. This is what we are asked to do as medicine keepers—continually do the deep work we ask of our students, clients and mentors. 2018 watched the Tower tumble. I used Snake for this work, as my guide. Snake sheds the skin. Releases. Transforms. Transmutes. Heals. Regenerates.
Thank you, Snake, belly on the earth, for showing me the process of shedding my old, torn skin. Thank you for rising from the earth to open a way forward for me.
2019 brings me to this year of the Major Arcana card XVII, the Star. It is a card of hope, of optimism, of healing, of peace. It brings me to watching the early morning sky for the simple beauty of the cycles of our life. Gratitude reorients me due north, the direction of wisdom and patience, the long view only the ancestors can bring. I am reassured of this fact—every part of my journey is used. No part is wasted on the medicine path.
Father Sky, Mother Earth, I thank you for clarity, for the willingness to see the truth no matter how painful. Thank you for bolstering me in the darkness, steering me to my True North.
Gratitude remains the root ball of the strong, powerful tree of me. The one that bends with the wind, but does not blow over. I am grateful for your continued support of my work and mission.
