Shamanic Journey with a Skull
Through my time as an earth medicine practitioner, I have developed intimate relationships with the crystals and tools that have come to me. I consider myself an Earth Medicine Keeper, meaning that I often will find medicine of the Earth, like feathers, bones, skulls, crystals, tools, artwork, and altar pieces. I am exceedingly good at hypervigilance when I am out and about in the world, probably one of those residuals from trauma that serves me in my field. I notice small movements, like animals on the forest floor. I point out the toads, salamanders, birds, feathers, and animals camouflaged in their natural habitats. I find patterns in the things, which is an excellent skill set for finding a four-leaf clover, which I am also very good at. This isn’t even a humble brag, this is a brag brag. Because, let’s face it, sometimes it is good to know what you are good at. Being able to see a discrepancy in the force offers me a opening to gather medicine for my clients. Side note: I am also awesome at this at Yard Sales, Thrift Shops and antique malls for all those interested in a buddy or shopper.
I find many pieces for my work in the most unlikeliest of places. I take them home, and clean them. I house them, and consistently cleanse, clear and clean until they are ready for meditation or journey work. Then I journey with the piece to find out how I can best work with this medicine and how it wants to work with me. Sometimes I pass the medicine on, if it was meant for a client. I actually am starting to resell, recycle, and upcycle my finds for my online shop.
So, what is a shamanic journey? Well, journey is a practice best described as a lucid trance state. In the alpha state, it's akin to meditation. In the theta state, the deeper level of transmission, more akin to the dream state. In this way, we visualize and communicate with our medicine and guides much more easily. Intelligence comes through the sensory processes and is later interpreted cognitively.
My questions are often the same ilk—why did you come to me? Are you personal medicine or medicine I will use with clients? What messages do you have? How would you like me to work with you? How can I best honor you and keep you?
In Spring of 2023, my bestie Sharon Muzio and I took a trip to Columcile Megalith in Bangor, Pennsylvania. It is a standing stone Celtic park that is not only beautiful, but sacred and holy. It was an awesome weekend away, and we decided to check out a few crystal shops in the area, as you do when you are witchy bad asses with a rainy day. I found this incredible shop called Celestial Journeys in Stroudsburg, PA. It seems to be permanently closed now, which is so sad, because she had an incredible selection of crystals and offerings.
I went in there looking for nothing, and then we made eye contact with a skull that was white. It looked like bone, almost. When I saw it, I thought it looked like Ocean Jasper, definitely in my top five crystals of all time. One of the things I love about Ocean Jasper is its connection to the Earth, and healing work. Each piece is entirely different from another, but they often have markings that look like cells almost. I kept walking back over to it in the case, not touching it yet, but just watching it. The consciousness of it felt palpable. I couldn’t not think of this skull as I walked around the store. Finally, I went back and asked the owner Janine what it was. She told me it was fossilized coral.
Hmmm…interesting.
Fossilized coral skull. Of course, the little corals are going to look like bones. I assumed it had limestone with it, and my goodness, it was so cool. I decided this was Spirit urging me to connect with a Crystal Skull.
Now, I did have a skull at the time—a black Obsidian skull that I worked with for ancestral healing work, and my altars for Ancestor. My beautiful friend Lisa D’Arrigo sent me a gorgeous little Cherry Jasper skull that I worked with when I was healing from my double mastectomy in 2021. But this Skull felt different, like it was here to teach and work with me.
I didn’t immediately jump into journey with the Skull. I spent the days preceding my journey day prepping. I made baños. Cleared and cleansed with skull with drum, rattle, and burning herbs. I set aside a whole day for journeywork, and this was part of that day. I took a long ceremonial bath in dead sea salt water and prepared for a long journey with the Skull. I brought it to my bed, and set myself up with pillows and Icaros, the Central and South American songs used during Ayahuasca and other medicine. journeys. Now, one of my goals was to develop a relationship with the medicine—specifically with the skull.
Every skull keepers I know who have deep meaningful relationships with their skulls seemed to know their name, their medicine, channeling the wisdom of the Crystal Skull. So, that was one of my questions: What is your name? Then deeper:
What work do you want to do through me?
Why did you come to me?
Are you personal medicine or medicine I will use with clients?
What messages do you have?
How would you like me to work with you?
How can I best honor you and keep you?
As I began, I seemed plunged into a world with many layers and levels, different outlooks, but it was all fluorescent and changeable. And I continued to try to be grounded in a journey on the land, but it was somewhere between ether and space. It reminded me of the movie Tron. But as I explored, and frustratingly was trying to direct my journey, I kept asking the question, I am here to know your name. Tell me what Medicine you have for me. It was just the Icaros and the place that could be very large or very small.
Why are you asking me my name?
The Skull began speaking. And it continued as colors and shapes, nebula and sacred geometry was all around me. “I used to have a whole universe in me and you are asking if I have a human name.”
Suddenly, I could see all this nebulous color and shape come into focus. It was a coral reef, so deep and long and intricate. It was like watching a movie on speed 4x, except the 4 were years, millennia, really. I could see the life cycle of plants and anemones and fish—their babies, their babies’ babies, birth, life, mate, death, and then birth, life, mate and death, over and over and I could see the eating of fish my other fish and the gentleness of the animals in and around the coral. The whole of the coral reef was a universe where certain fish and plants spent their whole life. The Skull repeated itself, “I used to be an entire universe. You can never fully grasp what that means. You can never understand with your ways unless you want to. You humans just want to possess things. You take me out the Earth, cut me out of the womb again, after my life cycle being a universe, from the place where I lived, and then you take me and carve me into your image and ask me my name, like I am happy to be here looking like a human.”
“You shaped me to be you. You carved me in your image, to look human, but I am anything but human. I had a universe in me and around me the likes you will never understand and you dare to ask me what my human name is. I am everything. I am the Earth. I am the universe..”
At first, I had that sarcastic defeating Gen X voice in me, “Figures I’d get the angry little skull.”
The Skull continued to talk, “You are asking the wrong questions. You are asking me my name. How you work with me? These are petty human concerns.” I could still see the coral extending out into the sea, and housing all the life cycles.
What the skull taught me is that Earth Medicine isn’t us, we cannot project our humanness onto the Earth. It doesn’t have a consciousness like ours. The Earth doesn’t pull things out of its environment and expect it to thrive and teach and be wise and understand humanity. The Coral taught me about community and interconnectedness, and showed me, more than meditation or writing about (which I had to do for my Level 3 shamanic training) ever could communicate—we must dismantle the myth of separation. Not only is the Coral the Sea, but it is also the Earth. It is the fish it housed. It is the salt, the plants, the limestone. It is me. It is you.
My line of question was very me-centeric. I was asking the questions about what I had just bought, That in and of itself was problematic to him. When I asked, what's your name? How do you want to work with me? It was all me, me, me, me. I wanted a cool story. I wanted to channel the medicine. But the Skull was like, all righty, well, let's get you in line here. And it was interesting. He showed me the universes that exist on the Earth, and that right now, you are no different Angie. There are universes around all things.
I am a human. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. And he was basically saying, this is how you work with me. Learn about me, learn about the earth. I am the medicine of the earth. So, in the end, this tempermental coral skull was not moody at all, but honest and wise. He teaches me every day about how to work with the earth medicine and not how to possess it or use it and be an ally to it. We are in service to the medicine, not the other way around. Humility and walking the beauty way can help soften tough relationships with the medicine and the Earth, which continues to struggle with heat and climate change. I was asking its name, but that was decidedly the wrong question. The question I should be asking is Would you please show me the way of the Earth?
In the end, that is what I do. I'm an earth medicine practitioner and I was asking a Coral Skull, “In what ways are you human? How do you be more human? What kind of human ways can you help me with?” But that is not the medicine of the Earth—it about the wisdom of the animal, the plant, the plant.
As I have explored my unnamed Crystal Skull, I researched coral, because of course, I did. Cool Coral factoids:
Coral grow by biomineralization, a process that starts when the young coral polyp uses seawater to create calcium carbonate crystals.
Corals worldwide, no matter if they live in the ocean or in a tank, bloom at the same time. They communicate no matter where they are in the world.
Coral reefs only take up 0.0025 % of the earth's surface but they, along with other marine organisms are responsible for producing 50% of the earth oxygen.
They also absorb nearly one-third of the carbon dioxide generated from burning fossil fuels.
Synchronized mass coral spawning typically occurs several days after a full moon once a year.
I bought my Skull and continue to build a deep relationship with its medicine. He comes in one form or another in every session I have. I mostly keep him on my altar and honor his medicine. As we have softened and taught me more about working with the Earth, our work together seems one of the most important medicine journeys ever.
Do you have a skull? Tell me about it in the comments! Also, let me know how you loved Skull Week, and I can’t wait to explore more topics with you. If you love my deep dives, consider asking me a question to cover in my next podcast episode, which is a Q&A episode. Send your question via email either written or you can send an audio file to angie (at) themoonandstone (dot) com.
The Skull: history, iconography, ritual use, and ally
Long associated with death and rebirth, skulls, whether crystal or not, often evoke that deep fear within people, so much so they have become a staple of Halloween and horror movies. However, skulls have been one of the oldest symbols found ritual, religion, artwork, cultural celebrations, and iconography in human history.
In our not-so-distant past, death was part of human life. Humans were not shielded from death. People died at home, sometimes in the streets. Humans, of all ages and genders, saw war, accidents, disease, pandemics, and death. What is left of the human body, the bones, represents the impermanence of the human body. Even before we studied anatomy, dissected humans, or understood medicine, humans held bones as representative of death. They held skulls and bones. Humans understood that these parts of us were all that remains after death.
The Skull, or rather, the human head houses vision, hearing, speaking, and thoughts. It is what we look at when we talk and when we recognize a person—so it holds the seed of identity and spirit for many. Skulls are human-shaped with a mouth, eyes, and nose, but no longer house the Spirit or Soul of the human. The skull becomes an important symbol in depicting the cycle of creation as a whole: birth, death, mortality, and, at times, immortality. We see skulls represented in artwork, mysticism, religion, and spirituality.
The mystical and metaphysical symbolism intertwined with their very real structure brings in a feeling of grounding, the structure of life with the mysticism and mystery of death. Spiritually, we work with the skulls in altar work, ritual, symbolism, and meditation. I do think skulls are some of the most potent symbols one can work with. Shamanically, they are totally my jam.
Use of Skulls in Various Cultures
Skulls have always held a special place in mythologies, legends, and traditions across different ancient cultures. While the meanings varied, skulls carried powerful symbolism and were often considered sacred, sometimes even used as offerings to gods.
Aztecs
For the ancient Aztecs, skulls weren’t just about death—they were seen as something more positive. Yes, they were tied to death and facing the fear of it, but they also symbolized life and the promise of a new beginning. To the Aztecs, skulls represented regeneration and rebirth, emphasizing the natural cycle of life. It was all about humanity and the idea that new life emerges from death.
Celtic Culture
In Celtic traditions, skulls were also considered sacred and were often placed on altars as offerings. For them, the skull was linked to the soul and seen as a symbol of power. The openings for the eyes and mouth were thought to be holy, offering a pathway to wisdom and knowledge. Beyond being a “house for the soul,” skulls in Celtic lore were sometimes symbols of creation and transformation, representing the ever-turning cycle of life.
Ancient India
In Buddhism, skulls were closely connected to the concept of emptiness. The belief was that everything in the Universe, at its core, is neutral, and only loses that neutrality based on how we perceive it. Emptiness wasn’t negative—it was a key part of understanding the true nature of things.
In both Hinduism and Buddhism, skulls were also tied to Munda Mala and the sacred syllable, OM. Deities like Shiva and the Mahavidyas Goddesses often wore garlands of skulls, representing divine power. Skull jewelry symbolized the gods' greatness, showing that they were beyond fear, danger, and even death itself.
Christianity
In Christianity, skulls symbolize mortality. Saints in many religious artworks are often depicted holding skulls, representing wisdom and a higher understanding of life. This act symbolized letting go of earthly concerns and turning toward spirituality, placing trust in the Divine.
At the same time, the skull, being part of the human body, also represents the link between the spiritual and physical worlds, connecting life and death, the seen and the unseen.
Día de Muertos and Skulls in Latin American Culture
As a Latina, I have consistently grown up with ghost stories, skeletons, and the honoring of ancestors. My mother kept and still keeps a fancy-cut crystal glass with water for death, sometimes putting food next to it on a window sill for the dead who may visit our home.
Skulls have a significant role in Latin American culture, especially in the context of el Día de Muertos or the Day of the Dead.
Day of the Dead
Of course, there are pre-Hispanic origins of el Día de Muertos. Aztecs and other Indigenous peoples in pre-Columbian Mexico celebrated death as a natural part of life. They believed that the dead were not gone, but rather that they had a relationship with the living. The Aztecs celebrated the death of their ancestors with a festival that lasted a month, honoring the goddess Mictēcacihuātl, the Queen of the Underworld. Mictēcacihuātl was known as the “lady of the dead.” She ruled the underworld, and watched over the bones of the dead, which the Aztecs believed were a source of life in the next world. Her grinning skull face is strongly associated with Dia de Muertos.
Spanish influence
When the Spanish arrived in Mexico, they brought Catholicism and forced many Indigenous people to convert. The holiday was moved to coincide with All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day, which are celebrated on November 1 and 2. But are these two celebrations the same?
Both are centered on remembering the dead, but they approach this remembrance in different ways. All Souls Day focuses on praying for “all the faithful departed,” while Día de los Muertos invites the spirits of loved ones back for an annual family reunion.
All Souls Day has been around for centuries. By the 9th century, monasteries were setting aside a day to pray for the dead, and it was a Benedictine abbot who first established November 2 as the official day to remember the departed. After the devastation of World War I, Pope Benedict XV extended the observance to the entire Catholic Church in 1915. On All Souls Day, people of faith remember those who have passed and pray for their peaceful journey into the afterlife with God.
Día de los Muertos, on the other hand, is not only about remembrance—it’s also a celebration of life. Families gather at gravesides, turning them into festive picnic spots where food, drinks, music, flowers, and fireworks are shared with the dead. It’s a joyful gathering that celebrates the memory of loved ones. Altars are set up in homes, adorned with flowers, photos, and offerings like food to welcome the spirits back and honor their presence.
Many offerings are sweet treats, like candy skulls, coffins, and sugar rolls called pan de muerto. The celebration also includes playful elements like toy skeletons and papel picado (colorful tissue paper cutouts of skulls and bones). These joyful touches bring a sense of sweetness and lightheartedness to the otherwise somber concept of death.
Whether through prayers on All Souls Day or the lively customs of Día de los Muertos, the past is brought into the present. Families, along with the broader faith community, gather at altars and gravesides to celebrate life in the midst of death, finding joy in sorrow. In these celebrations, memory becomes a living hope for eternal life.
Modern celebrations
Today, Día de los Muertos is celebrated in many ways, including building altars, dressing up, and sharing food. Every year, families and communities celebrate Día de los Muertos for three days. We think of this as a Mexican holiday, and yes, some of the largest, most elaborate celebrations are in Mexico. Still, El Día de Muertos is celebrated all throughout Latin American. In my mother’s hometown of La Chorrera in Panama, the procession came down in front of her home, as she lived across from the cemetery. According to Google, the states of Oaxaca and Michoacán have special traditions for the holiday. In Nejapa de Madero, Oaxaca, preparations begin a month before the celebration, including choosing stalks for altars, preparing food, and buying mezcal. In cemeteries and homes, families gather to honor and remember their loved ones who have passed. Celebrations vary by region and cultural influences. For example, in Guatemala, people make kites to reach their ancestors, while in Bolivia, processions involve the actual skulls of ancestors.
Skulls, or calaveras, sit at the center of Day of the Dead festivities. It would not be el Día de Muertos without brightly colored skulls. Everything, brightly colored and light, shows skeletons, skulls, and representations of death, like Monarch Butterfly, the carrier of souls. We see skulls made from sugar paste, wood, paper maché, or carved bone. Sugar skulls are given as gifts to family and friends to honor and celebrate the lives of the deceased. The decorations on the skulls reflect the likes and desires of the deceased. They are placed on altars and on the gravesites, and then left in the rain to melt into the Earth, mirroring the decomposition of the body after death.
The Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations believed in death as a continuation of life, and that the dead would return to visit during a month-long ritual. They decorated their temples with skulls, kept them as trophies, and used them in rituals to symbolize death and rebirth. After Colonization, the Catholic Church often incorporated the local customs and celebrations into Catholic existing holidays. El Día de Muertos began to be celebrated on the Holy Days of All Saints Day and all Souls Day, incorporating and honoring babies and children who have died (El Dia de los Angelitos),
To welcome them, families build altars, or ofrendas, in their honor. These altars often include yellow marigolds, candles, photos of the deceased, cut tissue-paper designs, as well as food and beverages offerings, though these can vary from culture to culture.
Skulls, or calaveras, are often used as decorations. Though these can be made of papier-mâché, clay, wood, metal, cut-out tissue paper, they are often made of sugar decorated with colored icing, flowers, or metallic colored foils.
Interesting sidenote:
After Mexico gained independence from Spain in 1821, the newfound freedom of the press led to the publication of many broadsides featuring skulls, or calaveras. These illustrations were a form of popular resistance by artists and writers. Lithographer José Guadalupe Posada's illustrations of calaveras found a wide audience in the new country. His most famous calavera was la Catrina, a female dandy portrayed as a fleshless skull with a wide-brimmed hat.
What a Skull Represents in Spiritual Work
Wisdom
The skull is the “home” of the mind. It symbolizes higher knowledge, truth, and ageless wisdom. Skulls or heads hold two or three chakra centers, depending on your perspective: the Crown Chakra, the Third Eye Chakra and the Throat Chakra (I do see it this way because of the ears and mouth.)
Skulls represent and emphasize the power of the rational mind, willpower, and mental agility. It represents the ability to transcend the limitations of the established systems of knowledge, penetrate deeper truths, and find higher meaning.
Bravery & Fearlessness
Skulls are old symbols of courage and strength. Associated with not simply valor and glory in war or battle, but they are associated with death for a cause as well as OVERCOMING death, which we will talk about more in a bit. Defeat the odds, overcome obstacles, limitless personal power, and the ability to deal with danger bravely and boldly is often seen in the symbolism of skull with warriors, fighters, ex-military and military folk.
Although it has been linked with fear, the skull represents the ability to conquer fears and rise above them.
Death
To pretend skulls symbolism is not about death would be to completely miss the mean of Skull. Everything in life moves in cycles. Endings inevitably occur as a part of that process. While they represent finite things, skulls also symbolize the start of the new cycle and the birth of new life as well as the end of one cycle and the beginning of another.
A skull reminds us that everything in life is transient and impermanent. The only thing that does not change is the knowledge that everything changes. Skulls urge us to see the beauty of every day, or as the Mexican iconography of Skull in El Dia de los Muertos reminds us, to laugh in the face of death. Skulls represent presence and gratitude, inspiring us to live a well-examined life with purpose and meaning.
Shamanic Uses of Skulls
Skulls have been used in shamanic work in many ways, (literally countless) but including some here that are interesting:
Ritual implements: In Hindu Tantra and Tibetan Buddhist Tantra, a skull cup called a kapala is used as a ritual bowl. In Tibetan Buddhism, kapalas are often decorated with jewels and precious metals.
Spiritual adornment: A shamanic practitioner in Bali made a necklace from five individually carved skulls made from water buffalo horn.
Symbolism: Skulls can symbolize death, evil, fear, and mortality, but they can also represent protection, power, and gratitude toward life.
Prehistoric Europe: Shamans in prehistoric Europe packed skulls with clay and burnt brains.
Mesolithic shamanism: Mesolithic shamans used red deer skulls with antlers during rituals.
Lakota culture: In Lakota culture, the buffalo skull is a symbol of self-sacrifice and is present in all sacred rituals.
Tibetan Buddhism: In Tibetan Buddhism, skulls are reminders of impermanence that help remove attachment to self and one's body.
Whew! If you made it this far through my Skullie research, congratulations! You deserve a little sugar skull as a reward. So, as you know, I love the Tarot and often will create Tarot Layouts with symbols I find resonate or for issues I am facing, and so I took the Skull and asked it—how can you help Tarot readers?
And I held my own Crystal Skull asking the questions. Immediately, my eyes went to that midway gaze between focus and unfocus and I could see the blackness of the eye sockets, the nose, the mouth and the ears as places to tap into. Not our eyes, but what is left is the eyes of our eyes, the nose of our nose, the ears of our ears, and the voice of our voice…the spiritual, wise parts of us that exist before consciousness and will exist after the body dies. And so I present The Skull Layout
Saying Goodbye to a Home
The Moon + Stone was featured on ApartmentGuide’s Saying Goodbye to a Home article. Check out the blog article here!
Moving Out and Moving On: Best Tips on Saying Goodbye to a Home, by Darby Mulligan on Apartment Guide, July 18, 2024
It is always fun to be interviewed about your approach and how to integrate Earth Medicine, shamanic approaches, and ritual into your daily life. This is my passion and my life’s work. Making the everyday sacred.Some friends are also featured in that piece, including one of my favorite crystal vendors Exquisite Crystals’ John VanRees Jr.
Leaving a home is like leaving a trusted friend, and there are some great tips and ideas on how to approach moving out of a home.
When I advise my clients during the incredibly stressful time of moving space, I try to help them find a way to make packing and moving sacred. When stressed, we sometimes forget to take moments to breathe and create space to honor. Whether that is doing a release ceremony before you officially move out, journaling and setting intentions, setting an alarm every hour to sit and thank your home for keeping you warm, safe, or protected, or creating a cleaning and clearing ritual, you can take a moment to honor and express gratitude around how this home served your Spirit, what you are ready to release, and what you want to call into your new home.
We can pack up and leave a space, but we always take our emotional baggage. A great way to process and release is combination of journaling and ritual. Journal questions:
1. Tell the story of your life during your stay in this home—remember the joys, successes, challenges, and energy this space gave you.
2. What did you learn while living in this space?
3. What are you ready to release emotionally, mentally, or spiritually?
4. What energy do you want to call into your new space?
Through this process, you can identify some things you are ready to release—maybe it is releasing fear, or stuckness. Then identify what you are calling in—if you are releasing fear of change, then maybe you are calling a sense of adventure and courage to be authentically you. Write out releases on paper. Some people like to use a little rosemary, lavender, tobacco or other herb on the paper, and tuck it into a little package. Take it outside and put it on a burn-proof plate or in a fire pit and burn. You can watch the wind carry the prayers of release to the four corners of the earth.
If you want to incorporate this into a cleansing ritual, you can take a bit of ash, mix with lavender, salt (Himalyan sea salt is nice, but you can use any salt, even table salt), and spread on the floor before you sweep and clean your space. Open windows if you can. Do this work mindfully, Visualize the energy here, the challenges, the experiences and items you identified for release, being swept away. Always sweep toward an outside door. You can use a dustpan, or sweep outside if it is acceptable. Just take the dirt and detritus outside to bury or put into a trash can away from your stuff.
Some great stone medicine allies for moving house are:
Citrine: Helps selling your home. Put a small citrine grid in a main living space. Even a piece in a central location can attract that incredible abundance energy, sunshiney feel and warmth you need to attract financial abundance to your life. I am partial to Congo Citrine and the Smoky Citrines from the Congo are a perfect addition to moving home, as they ground and attract abundance.
Carnelian: Bringing the energy since the beginning of time! Carnelian is a great ally for getting some energy to do the dang work of packing, cleaning, cleansing, plus it just brings so much joy and creative energy, what else do you need? Put it in your pocket and buzz around like you drank some espresso. I actually do put it in water when I need that extra oomph to get shizzle down.
Black Tourmaline: Helps with grounding and clearing as you make space for change. If it is on your person, it is like having a forcefield against other people’s stress and tension. I also love gridding my home in BT for extra protection when all kinds of people are walking through.
Lepidolite: Stress can really take its toll, so using lepidolite can help de-stress, rest, recuperate, and come at things with a new peace. During your packing breaks, place it on the heart or third eye, and rest or nap. Wake up with a new perspective. I also love it for tension headaches.
Amethyst: Protective. Visioning. The stone of acceptance, what is there not to love about our old fave?!?
Please check out the entire article at Apartment Guide.
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Tarot, Earth Medicine + Astrology for December
Blessed December! December’s astrology has retrogrades, directs, action, adventure, and momentum for 2024. Doesn’t that sound great?!?
Of course, we start December, like every December in the optimistic and enthusiastic energy of Sagittarius, which honestly encourages us to see the best in the future. A wonderful way to set lofty, ambitious goals for yourself. As we enter Capricorn season at the end of the month, we open the path to turn those lofty ambitions into reality, paving the way for a thriving 2024. Capricorn is an earthy leader and doer. Opening a way, even if it is not evident at the beginning of the month. I am counting on this, y’all. I’m just saying.
During Sagittarius season, we're all encouraged to embrace compassion, generosity, and joy. There's this boundless energy that serves as a reminder that incredible things can happen when we believe in ourselves and strive for more. Yet, it can also be challenging to set boundaries or exercise restraint. Listen ad-free to the episode for the Tarot of the Month, Earth Medicine Allies, astrology of the Month, and, of course, my crazy tangents into Greek Mythology and more.
As always, December’s Medicine Bundle is available for sale on my website:
Tarot, Earth Medicine + astrology for the month of November: Podcast + Info
Happy November! Angie talks about the astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for November (the 9 of friggin’ Swords), and the Earth Medicine allies—Plant Medicine of Yarrow; Stone Medicine: Turquoise, Aquamarine + Lepidolite as well as work with the medicine of our Animal Guide of Alligator +/or Crocodile
Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang! A medicine bundle is for sale in the shop, as always.
Remember Angie does her Tarot thing through her collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for the Moon + Stone Membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. The private Facebook group is a place where the group gathers every Friday for a checkin and circle plus lots of other activities (meditations, craft night, death café, Q&As) to have camaraderie and fellowship. Check out more information here: https://themoonandstone.com/monthly-memberships
In this episode, I do mention the Body Keeps Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
PS from Angie: Dearest listeners, Apologies for the lateness of this episode, we had some personal family emergency stuff come up and as a result, my stutter makes a wee appearance here. It is too hard to edit out and I am unfortunately too behind in my work to do that, so enjoy my "I-bursting-at-the-seams-with-lateness" stutter. Much love, Angelica
October's Tarot Card, Earth Medicine + Sky Medicine
It's Eclipse season and the last of the two year cycle of Taurus-Scorpio Eclipses.
In this episode, Angie talks about the astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for October (the Hermit), and the Earth Medicine allies—Plant Medicine of Mugwort and Damiana; Stone Medicine: Charoite, Moonstone + Hematite as well as work with the medicine of our Spirit Guide the Valkyrie and the Animal Guide of Phoenix
You can listen to this latest episode of Centered on Spotify (https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/VXWTngQezDb) or wherever you listen to podcasts (Amazon, I Heart Radio, Apple Music, Pocketcasts, etc) or right on my website. Or just check out my blog.
Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang! A medicine bundle is for sale in my shop, as always.
You can find October's Medicine Bundle here: https://themoonandstone.com/.../oct-2023-earth-medicine...
Remember I do collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for my membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. We also meet each Friday for circle, and you get free bonus of Q&As with me. Check out more information here:
Blessed September
Holy cow, it is all retrogrades, all the time. In this episode, I talks about the sky medicine, I mean, astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for September (10 of Cups), and the Earth Medicine allies—Plant Medicine of Evening Primrose; Stone Medicine: Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz and Pyrite as well as work with the medicine of Wolf.
Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang! A medicine bundle is for sale in my shop, as always. You can find September's Medicine Bundle here: https://themoonandstone.com/medicine/sept-2023-earth-medicine-mojo-bag-4lgxz
Remember I do collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for my membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. We also meet each Friday for circle, and you get free bonus of Q&As with me. Check out more information here:
https://themoonandstone.com/monthly-memberships
Some pieces I mention in the podcast that you might find interesting:
Most U.S. wolves are listed as endangered—again. Here’s why: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/gray-wolves-relisted-endangered-species-act
I love the story of Cailleach told by Scottish storyteller Shona Cowie. I link it in the show notes. https://youtu.be/faX4qZ4Ipbk?si=4egBKt39TAjw2UJs
Fresh Air: What we get wrong about Armageddon in the Bible. https://www.npr.org/2023/04/03/1167732024/what-we-get-wrong-about-armageddon-in-the-bible
Genesis Chapter 9:http://web.mit.edu/jywang/www/cef/Bible/NIV/NIV_Bible/GEN+9.html
Blessed Virgo Season + Mercury Retrograde
Welcome to Virgo Season, witches!
We kick it off with a Mercury stationing Retrograde today, so hang onto your husbands, girls!* And by husbands, I mean, your communications. Keep them in your pants/in your drafts folders. Though this is an excellent time to plan things, because Virgo loves a good five-year plan and is an excellent wind at your back for the details that a bigger picture Earth sign isn't always great at (ahem, I am looking at you, Capricorn!)
Virgo is known for being fussy, but it isn't as much fussy as efficient, analytical, detailed, and a powerhouse of getting shit done. Some of you Air and Water signs might see it as fussy or sticklery, but that is just because you don't mind if the tablecloth is crooked and that is your prerogative. (But you are wrong.) Because it is a mutable earth sign, Virgo can manifest that mutability as anxiety, but it is really attention to all the things at the same time. Everything everywhere all at once. Virgo can make a minor typo feel huge. It is just because it is all important to Virgo brains, because the details make up the big picture, not the other way around. (Again, I am looking at you, Capricorn.) Virgo channels that native wisdom of streamlining, efficiency and order.
Virgo is ruled by Mercury, so you might find this particular Mercury Rx isn't as intense, but I still suggest the planning is more important than the doing in these three weeks.
Virgo heals. Virgos are natural healers, in the sense, that order, stability, and cleanliness heal our chaotic minds. Virgo is the sign of the healer, giver, space holder. So, this is a great season to be engaging in new routines with healing and service work. And by service work, I mean, being of service to fellow humans and/or animal friends. How and where can you be most helpful to your community?
Now, let’s talk a little about Mercury Retrograde. So, are you like,”Angie, are you effing kidding me right now, bro? I thought we were already in Mercury Retrograde?!?! I mean, shit ain’t right already.” We go into a pre-retrograde period a few weeks before it starts, and then go into a shadow retrograde period after it ends. So, you might have been stalking you for a few weeks in its pre-shadow time frame. So, you are already swimming in the soup, people!
welcome to the jungle!
Mercury Retrograde has a reputation, because it happens three times a year for three weeks a piece, then counting the pre-retrograde period and the shadow retrograde, that is like a good 2 months 3xs a year, so calculating in my really math-deficient brain that seems like a good 6 months of Mercury doing its thing. It reminds me of my friend Billy during a Daylight Savings time change. He posted something on FB that said, “OMG, stop complaining about the time change. It happens twice a year. JUST GO TO SLEEP!” Or that one cartoon I cannot find now where the Moon is leaning in some lady’s window when she is in bed and says, “Stop blaming me for everything!”
It is because Mercury rules communication, and we often notice electronics being a little temperamental, my dryer is broken, por ejemplo, (I feel like Laura Ingalls Wilder hanging my clothes outside with actual clothes pins. I even wear a bonnet to do it and call my kids Half-Pint.)
Communications is a little wonky, like sending a text before you edited it 15 times or mispelling something on your resume for an editing job...just double check things. Mercury Retrograde is in Virgo, and Virgo is a stickler, so expect those issues of Mercury Rx to be in the little details that drive you crazy. Listen, Mercury Rx is just as important as Mercury Direct...we get to use every part of the Moon + Planetary movements. We can use this time for planning, dreaming, laying out what our steps might be. Take three weeks for that planning time, but hold off on moving forward. I have some tips for you during this time:
And if you use Tarot, here is a cool layout:
If you are up for using crystals, I use a combination of Throat Chakra stones and grounding stones. Throat chakra or communication stones like Aquamarine, Blue Lace Agate, Hemimorphite, Amazonite, and my favorite for Mercury Retrograde is Fluorite, often called the stone of the student. It really helps with clarity and understanding. Grounding stones I use are Hematite, Smoky Quartz, Black Tourmaline and...wait for it, Garnet are great. My friend Chris (Tall Chris Crystals) gave me some Black Garnet, and that is going to be my new GOTO for Merc. Rx. The grid here is Fluorite, Smoky Quartz and Hematite, but you do you, boo.
(*I am quoting Practical Magic, not suddenly shifting personalities here.)
blessed august
Angie talks about the sky medicine, I mean, astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for August, and the Earth Medicine allies—Dandelion (that persistent ally wants to hang on for another month); Stone Medicine: Citrine, Dumortierite, and Spirit Quartz as well as work with the medicine of Spider. Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang!
Remember I do collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for my membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. We also meet each Friday for circle, and you get free bonus of Q&As with me. Check out more information here:
https://themoonandstone.com/monthly-memberships
https://herbiary.com/dandelion-root-tea-caddy-2-5-oz/
Blessed May!
Happy May! Here is the Tarot, Earth and Sky Reading for May with some significant lunations:
The Card of the Month is the Three of Wands and we are working with the Medicine of Arnica, Smoky Quartz, Carnelian and Green Aventurine with the specific beautiful energy of the beloved Condor. You can purchase a medicine bundle of May’s medicine in my shop.
May 1st is also Beltane, or May Day, the energy of fertility, sex, creativity and joy comes through loud and clear and we honor our own fertility and flirty natures. I recorded a podcast with all the history and lore of Beltane as well as a reading.
Tarot + Earth Medicine Reading for April
Listen to this month’s tarot + earth medicine reading on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts, or right here on my website!
Tarot + Earth Medicine Reading for March
Blessed March, friends! They say March roars in like a lion but leaves as a lamb. But this March is roaring in with so much astrological shifting, we may want to roar, cry, mew, dance the Macarena, and hide under a blanket with a computer to take over the world.
This is the month we have all been waiting for, or at least, that is what we were told in the beginning of the year by astrologers. All these retrogrades, they said, just wait until March when everything shifts. I was in my live membership group circle and someone mentioned the crazy astrology in March, and I had totally forgotten. I was so caught up in what I thought would be a mild February. It was anything but for me. I was definitely getting ready for March.
So, if you have felt like me and are saying to yourself, “What gives? I thought this would be the calm time of the year.” You have laid the foundation, friend, to shift, change, adapt and let yourself get taken by the inevitable transformations of March’s astrology and energy.
Of course, I discuss this all in the Tarot + Earth Medicine Reading for March in my latest podcast. Click to listen here or at my Anchor site. Or you know Spotify, ApplePodcasts, etc…whereever you get pods, you can get mine.
+ + + + +
If you like these readings for the month and want to dive deeper with me, I have my Moon + Stone Healing Memberships. I do readings for the group on the Full Moon and the New Moon and provide a monthly shamanic journey to all members. We circle up for Coffee on Fridays and talk, pull cards, explore topics. There are a few price points for everyone and for one tier, I do a personal reading.
I just wanted to share that, since so many of you ask for how to work with me, or learn from me, I also have a place where you can schedule distant sessions with me.
And one more thing, I am starting a monthly Live Q&A, which will be very similar to my office hours at Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy. You can sign up here. The last Wednesday of the Month. More about that coming!
Holding Space
I love the phrase “Holding Space”. I love the way it makes you think about space as something tangible and weighty. I definitely think of space this way—substantive, tangible, having its own energy. I walk into places and feel my energy rise and feel joyful and other places that drag me down and creep me out. The lovely side effects of being a highly sensitive person, neurodivergent, psychic, weird. Whatever you want to call it. I also feel that from people. Authenticity. The energy signature of each person is a bit different. It is how I feel my father with me even though he died five years ago. I feel his energy.
When I studied with my mentor, Pixie Lighthorse, we covered holding space—creating a safe environment for our clients and for ourselves. Of course, all my teachers cover sacred space and how to create an energetic neutral environment, but this was different. We talked about how to HOLD space. How to create a vessel for safety and trust. How to honor our clients. How to respect ourselves. We talked about psychological terms like transference and counter-transference. I can hear you say, “But those are psychological terms, Angie, and you aint a psychologist.”
True dat.
But the psychological model can be very useful for all of us who hold space for other people. Without a governing body, energy workers, Reiki practitioners, tarot readers, yogis, spiritual coaches, all of us really can get lost on our path. We burn out from working on people. Boundaries get crossed without us even knowing their should be a boundary there. Most of us need some guidance or guideposts on the way. A kind of moral compass and guide book for this landscape of energy.
When I got my first certification, I hung a shingle. I saw friends and colleagues, expanding my business online and in-person. I loved it. I held Moon Circles with no qualification other than I had been to Moon Circles. And as I got deeper into the work, the clients came to me with complex issues that needed a multi-pronged approach, and I had no idea what to do.
This is me saying—I made a lot of mistakes in my practice and my circles.
I let myself get triangulated. I became friends with clients and then had them calling with at all hours with Tarot emergencies. I tried to do everything for clients. I had my work and classes stolen from me by students. I let people not show up to appointments or come in late and got more and more resentful without talking to them. Truthfully, I was just a person in over her head in a community that were searching for more than I was trained to give.
Studying with Pixie changed my perspective. I am a professional and holding space is the most important part of my job. For my sanity and for the wellness of other people. I love research. I call myself a research monkey (though, honestly, the more I think about that, the more it sounds like I let people experiment on me). When I began my healing journey, I found called to work on others. When I began my healing trauma, I went down some really important rabbit holes for being trauma-informed in my practice. I felt I had unknowingly allowed my own privilege and bias not inform my practice. I have always taught ethics and boundaries in my circles, but through the years, it deepened and expanded with the core of my beliefs residing in love, kindness, and compassion. From there I rebuilt my approach to not only be loving, kind and compassionate to my clients, but also loving, kind and compassionate to me.
As I have said before, my philosophy can be summed up as “Do no harm, but take no shit.”
Ethics + learning how to hold space were the cornerstones of my successful energy healing practice. They’re the North Star that guides you to successfully have a thriving practice and honor your precious clients and protect your energy.
I am very honored to bring you the full scope of holding space, ethics + trauma-informed crystal therapy. My goal with this class is to EMPOWER you to have a practice that fulfills you, brings out the best in you, and serves your client’s highest needs.
I originally taught this class at Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy, and am offering it here. Read more about it here:
another q+a episode on centered with angie
Just a quick little episode of Centered answer these questions:
from Shannon:
I would love to know more about your Earth medicine journey and how you personally recognize and find meaning in the gifts Gaia offers you.
and then another from Melanie:
Hi Angie. What is the significance of the "Rising" sign and 12th House? I have my birth chart. They said I'm an Aries with Leo Rising and Cancer in the 12th House. I don't know what to do with that info. ❤️
Episode 44: Tarot+ Earth Medicine Reading for February 2023
Enjoy the tarot + earth medicine reading for February 2023
Episode 40: Tarot + Earth Medicine Reading for December 2022
Blessed December! It’s going to be a dumpster fire, or it isn’t. We are working with the Hanged Man, so it is hard to know, but one thing is that if you want clarity, you can have it. Just don’t ask a question you don’t want to hear the answer to. Honestly. Seriously. We are hanging in a place between Justice (skewed Justice or real Justice, who knows for real?) and Death. And when we know the truth and we can’t unhear it.
We are working with Pyrite, Hematite and Petrified Wood. Quaking Aspen and Vulture. I think I am going to work with Condor, a type of Vulture, as South American Quechuan guide and ally.
Have an amazing December!! I’ll be back with Midwinter/Winter Solstice Reading December 21.
eyeballing the eclipse
This is eclipse is making me think about seeing things.
Like the one time I was driving to my mother’s house, and I turned my head into a field that had a stream running through it and there was a monkey. Like a real ass monkey. I passed it, processed the scene, then stopped the car completely. A monkey? In rural Pennsylvania? My left brain retorted, “Uh, no, sir. There is an error in that calculation.” I reversed up the country road.
When I came to the spot where the monkey lived, I squinted and looked, but it was just a tree trunk with branches that looked like a monkey. “It changed back to the tree,” I thought.
+ + +
I woke at 3:02 am ET, exactly, the time the eclipse was starting. The moon whispered in my ear…it is time, my love. It is time, seer, to witness the shadow fall over me and change the shape of things.
The entire yard illuminated by the moon, which I could not find. I walked to the west and there it was, like a spotlight over everything. It was totally full and bright and I said, “Here we go.” (As I write this now, the red is starting to creep over the moon from the top down, like a shade is being pulled over it.)
+ + +
This past weekend, I was honored to hold space for women in an earth medicine retreat where we worked with journey and painting to let the right brain drive for a while in a flowy, dreamy third eye dance. We journeyed, drank dream tea, and painted in a meditative state that implored us to get out of our own way. Our right brain just wants to drive for a while, but what happens, inevitably, is we argue with ourselves.
“This looks dumb. Paint something real, m’kay?”
“Shut it, Lefty. I am just flowing over here.”
“That’s not a real painting. Come on. What the fuck is this? Paint something real. We need evidence of art.”
“Maybe you are right. I don’t think I can do this. Maybe I should go nap. No, wait, you are left. I am just doing what is suggested and seeing how it unfolds. It doesn’t have to be anything right now. Nothing is supposed to be perfect.”
“It can be.”
And on and on…my Right Brain, let’s call it Orpheus, often is much more polite than is required. It says, “Thank you for sharing, Logos, but I am not looking for any advice right now.” Logos totally hates that shit. It is a know-it-all with half the information and so Logos keeps sending evidentiary memories to remind you of how flowing and being too creatively free made us objects of ridicule, or where teachers marked us off points for not being in the lines, or when someone called you flakey that one time.
We painted for four hours, the internal dialogue lessening over the sessions and the painting unfolding slowly. My first layer has a lot of optimism and messages of flying high, going for it. I pulled a Rebel Deck oracle card that said, "Get after that shit." And then the second layer turned darker and more defiant. Why are you always getting after shit? Just calm down. Pause.
I handed out secret messages every so often, like reminders from Spirit, a tablespoon of the extra sauce available for the flow. My second secret message said, "Take that Leap." And I just took the black and wrote NO next to it. I don't want to take the leap. (I may look defiant, but I am pliable and follow the rules and get nervous when I hold boundaries or say no.) I let the second layer be angry and defiant and punk rock. Hellz to the yeah!
My third layer came like a breeze, softening, honoring, calling in the medicine of my inner child and my inner mother, the one that sits with change and destruction and soothes. She said, "It's just an illusion of the sun and the earth. The Sun is shining behind you, my love. It is casting a shadow and makes the moon look like it disappears. Do not be afraid, the moon is always there whether we see it or not. You are always there whether you see or not."
+ + +
The night sky is darkening even more now, and the moon is starting to be enveloped by its shadow. I wonder if my writing will be enveloped by shadow too. The Sun is behind us now, as the Moon does her thing. It reminds me of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. The shadow emerges and I wonder if I what I will see in this time and how I will see it. I need another cup of coffee.
+ + +
Then after painting, we ate, then we got ready for a dream/third eye focused collective grid crystal healing for dreamwork. Hot flashes + painting + unseasonably warm weather = Angie needs a shower. My mentor talks about adorning before ceremony, cleansing the energy field, doing the work. I pour a baño over my head, salt and herbs and water flowing over me. It feels so good to be in water. I craved it when I can't take a bath or cleanse this way. Then, in the shower, soap got in my eye. Mint soap. (Do adults regularly get soap in their eyes? Asking for a friend.)
It burned, and I rubbed and rubbed and rinsed it best I could with contacts in. And then it felt like my contact rolled up into my eyelid. I finished the shower and went to look in the mirror to retrieve the contact.
I just couldn’t find it.
I start sweating again, knowing that everyone is waiting on me, but my contact was stuck in my eye. What if it traveled into my brain? What if it caused a massive infection? What if I can’t get it? My left brain was loving this shit. Logos said, “YAY, home surgery!! I watch television where people do surgery all the time. We can do this.”
My right brain was like, “Uh, no. You aren’t getting it out that way. Let’s just go with the flow, man. Plus, you are going into a deep third eye meditation. Maybe there is a reason you cannot see right now. Or you can only see out of one eye. Look deeper, Ang. Look at the thing behind the thing. Just reconcile yourself to the fact that you aren’t seeing from this side tonight. The suffering comes from trying to do something you cannot do, like find a lost contact in your eye.”
I told everyone, and the ladies poked and prodded, and suggested things. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a contact or the sclera, so in the end, I just went on, unable to see out of my right eye, looking like Popeye.
I have terrible eyesight. I mean, I think it is considered 20/500. Meaning what I see at 20 feet is what someone who had good eyesight sees at 500 feet. But I didn’t need to see. I was in the flow of the music of Jonathan Goldman, and the amazing energy of the archangels and ascended masters, the crystals and sacred geometry. I just did what I was trained to do as the wind howled outside and the almost full moon shone through the windows. I stepped into the light and just bathed in the moonlight.
Thank you, I whispered to Grandmother Moon. Thank you for letting me do this work.
+ + +
There is no light outside now. It is like a deep darkness, one that scares me a bit. The stars are suddenly illuminated—always there, but I couldn’t see them with the brightness of the Full Moon.
+ + +
Spirit wanted me to see without seeing, to see perfectly out of my left side and be fuzzy in the right. Fuzzy and tuned in. My eye ached from being manipulated and touched and ran with tears. I could still feel the contact in there, way back behind my eye, but I just trusted and moved into the flow.
Sometimes we have to not see before we can truly see. Sometimes we need to trust that what we need is right there, even if we don’t have evidence for that.
I fell asleep imagining the contact swimming toward my front cortex with little cartoon arms and exploratory tools, like a mini-pickaxe, strapped to its back. In the morning, I looked in my eye again. It felt injured—achy and sore. Still two days later, it feels achy and sore. I still didn't see any contact, but the eye was goopy. I made coffee and pulled tarot cards from the Alleyman Tarot.
Every card and description involved seeing. When the 10 of Eyes came, I realized that even this was the medicine of the weekend. Seeing was preventing me from the feeling. Seeing was preventing me from honoring. It was preventing me from trusting that the monkey was the medicine I needed at that moment. The medicine of laughter, communication, and community. Later in the morning, I found my contact in the sink, stuck half in and half out of the drain.
It was never in my eye. It had fallen out at some point, but I was still looking for something not there. Because wounds feel like that sometimes, like something is there that simply isn’t. Like there is a huge folded up piece of plastic in your eye lid, when it was your own damned finger.
Sometimes you are your own damned irritant.
This lesson is eternal. No matter how much we look outward, we always have a finger poking our own eye.
In recovery, we use sponsors. Sponsors are people who have gone through the twelve steps and guide us through them too. The Twelve Steps basically help you have a spiritual experience by doing some self-reflection, looking at our wounds and the wounding we caused others, asking Spirit to guide you to release the underlying character defects so you can be of maximum service to the world. Sponsors guide you in your spiritual journey, and so we call them when we are poking our own eyes, and seeing things that are not there, and avoiding the things right in front of us. Sponsors are not like therapists though. They often laugh when you are stuck and say, “Yep, that’s how it goes. I remember when that happened to me too. Stop poking your own eye when it hurts. Close your eyes and use your ears instead. Listen.” They can only share their experience, really. They aren’t there to solve the problem, just to think about it in another way.
I am not saying you should become an alcoholic but having a sponsor might be a good thing. You know the person who says, “Did you look in the sink first before you went around doing home surgery without sterilized equipment?” Then they usually say, “Why don’t you pray about it? Why are you trying to fix everything on your own?”
The Left-Brain loves poking at things and doing home surgery and making up conspiracy theories and letting your wounding take on the role of “logic” in your brain. It is the Right Brain that says, “Let’s just make some meaning out of this and go with the flow. Maybe this will lead us somewhere cool.”
+ + +
The Moon is completely covered now, there is not even a sliver, and I woke my daughter to see. She saw the blood red of the dark side as it was slowly covered. Then she plodded back to bed. Now it is just a shadow of itself. We honor the crone in the darkness, how the grandmother sits and waits and says, "It all goes too fast." Secrets are said to be revealed this total lunar eclipse in Taurus with the Sun, Venus and Mercury in Scorpio and with Uranus and square Saturn. We are as sick as our secrets; crone sponsors have been saying for decades. Maybe the medicine is the sharing of secrets.
The dogs were not interested in going outside, and I thought about how wise they are not to stand under the moon eclipsing and darkening. They stay inside and cuddle up, preparing for a long day of napping.
all the things.
It has been a week. I mean, it has been a month. Or so.
Actually, let’s be frank it has been a year. Or two.
No, I guess, it has been a life.
As the Buddhist note, it is all sucky, uh, I mean suffering. It shouldn't be shocking when things are hard. I have a very child-like part of me that is wide-eyed, gullible, and trusting. She jumps into things and as my friend Jess says, "She's a joiner!" Then the other part of me is world-weary and jaded. She sits in a darkened room by candlelight, smoking unfiltered cigarettes, drinking black coffee, listening to the Velvet Underground and talking about existentialism. She guffaws a lot and says, "I bet it is!" She is always urging me to just take a nap, then get a jobby job with the State already. I have have these two competing for attention. Let’s say they are two turtles.***
The naïve part constantly says, “Certainly, that’s it for the ‘hard stuff’ of this life. After this bout of cancer/babyloss/illness/husband surgery/busy season, everything is going to be smooth sailing.” I have two prints in my house that was hung by that Divine Fool aspect of me. One says, “EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY” and the other one says, “Nothing but blue skies from here on out.”
The jaded part is waiting for the next thing. She sits like a gargoyle on the mantle and growls at people who move her shit. She hung a sign that says, “Don’t Fuck with Me. (Protect your Energy.)”
The two turtles are fighting inside me. One is jaded. The other is not. This is not an Ancient Panamanian proverb. It is a metaphor and the turtles will make sense in a bit.
I keep thinking things will slow down and then they don’t. The jaded part asks the enthusiastic child part, “Why are you overscheduling yourself?” And the Divine Fool says, “I can’t help it. All the things are important. I love all the things.”
Are they? Are all the things important?
The jaded part points out that taking care of me, and me first, is priority. "No one else is going to watch your ass, Toots. You better make sure you get a nap."
+ + + + +
My brother-in-law, sister-in-law and niece visited this weekend, and my niece says, “I love everything about your house. It is the most inviting and comfortable house I have ever been to.” And it made my decade. That is literally my only style aesthetic—warm, inviting, comfortable. All my furniture is thrifted. I have plants everywhere. Crystals on the surfaces that make sense. There is art on almost all the walls…art from my kids, art from me, art prints are treated with the same import as painting and retablos and metal and woodwork, which I love. It just fills me with JOY to see everything I love out and accessible.
And without thinking I said, “Yeah, I am a maximalist.”
More is more. I try to distill my thoughts, keep things nice and streamlined. I have tried to play minimalist. Mysterious and distant. Giving you only a little. But it is not me. That childlike enthusiastic part of me that wakes up at 4am with the first thought being, “YAY! It’s morning! Can I get up now?” When someone talks about something I love, I get bright-eyed and just start sharing all the things I know.
Less is more leaves me wanting. I keep adding things. I put it all out there. More than is needed. I painted the tree. Then started adding animals. More animals. With people visiting, I make more food than is needed. I create more art, more words, more research.
All that is to say that I am unraveling this part of me that thinks all the things are important.
I am a neurodivergent, thinky, introvert masking as an extrovert. I am a research monkey and an artist, creative and logical. But I have to start saying “No”. I have to stop contributing to my own suffering. I have to learn how to prioritize. And when I started saying this over the weekend, when my feet ached and all I wanted to do was hide away, the medicine started coming in big time.
I thought in October, we would be journeying with bat (what an October animal to journey with) or owl again. But no, sea turtle came through. Sea Goddamn Turtle.
A turtle of the sea for this landlocked mama. I mean, I love turtle. They are nice. They generally seem to mind their own beeswax. This is a quality I admire in humans and in animal species. I began journeying with turtle to prepare the guided journey for my membership group, researching turtle and finding the medicine was exactly what was needed right now. Firstly, it is coming in the watery West, in Autumn, and it lives primarily in water—we are going to be dealing with deep emotions. The secondly, it is about slowing down, going inward.
When I journeyed with turtle, she took me into a turquoise sea with the bright sun shining through the water, illuminating the parts of me that need attention. She showed me that she walks slow on land because she is a water being. When she walks slowly on land, she has to be very protective. She is easily targeted for attack. "That is why the hare was so much faster," sea turtle said, "I'm not a creature of the land."—the turtle is supposed to be in the water. She showed me she travels through time through millennia. She showed me how ancient they are, and how they can access the knowledge from the 40,000 years of mankind that existed before writing did.
As I was journeying, I fell asleep. I rarely do that. But it all caught up with me—the past week, month, year…I ended up waking up groggy with the icaros still going, and me singing them in my sleep. I tried to focus on my work and record the journey for my membership group. But an ocular migraine slowly developed, which forced me into a dark room, then two more naps. I fell asleep at 9p.
+ + + + +
Turtle’s medicine was a forced pause. "BAM you need to slow down, sister!" I truly have been going a mile a minute, waking up at 4am just to get everything done. Turtle medicine slows us down, to evaluate if ALL THE THINGS are important. Are all those deadlines and busy-ness self-imposed? Can you un-impose them?
The next day, a groggy, slow, post-migraine day, our power went out at 6p, right before I went live for my weekly Live Office Hours, where I answer questions live for our crystal students. Everything shut down. I was done, but prepping the live video feed. I couldn’t access my work or research. We had no internet connection. The house was growing darker. The refrigerator warmer.
I contacted the team—"I have to reschedule.” And it was rescheduled in 5 minutes.
Many years ago, when I worked at a café in Tucson, I opened the shop. I get in there at 530a, and there is an inch of water covering the entire coffeehouse. I called the other worker to come in early. I turned off the water to the ice machine, which was the issue, and took a mop and began mopping up the floor. One mop head at a time. Sop up water. Put it in the mop bucket. Squeeze. Repeat. For 1 hour. Before someone else came in and said, “You do not have to mop this.” Basically, you do not have to do this impossible task alone and try to open the café by 7am. You can ask for help. And then they pulled out a squeegee and pushed the water out into the parking lot in almost no time. (Again, I ask myself why I am causing my own suffering?)
Yesterday, Spirit said, “Not today, honey. You cannot do all the things.” Zap. The power was out. Now what? Sit down. No devices. No work. No things were as important as the moment I was in right now.
I took a breather. Played cards with my kids. Set up the generator, the candles and emergency lanterns.
Turtle gave me this lesson this week.
That is how the medicine is, you know. You begin working with an animal, connecting with its energy, learning its ways, and then you can see those obstacles coming is as gifts and lessons. I very much needed turtle medicine. My Divine Fool part reminds me of the other sign she hung in my house, the one that says, “I am practicing radical self-acceptance, because this is the only me I’ve got.”
Sacred Turtle, the master of longevity and patience, comes forth for you too this month. Slow it the eff down, friend. Call in sick. Let the power outage bring you mindfulness and presence. Feed both of the turtles. The one that speeds through the ocean and the other that rambles, wearily, through the sand, and let them be brothers in arms, fighting against all the things to bring you just the right thing.