Episode 71: Recovery for the Masses with Angie Yingst

In 1989, September was named National Recovery Month, and SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) holds events all month, as do state Depts of Drug and Alcohol Services. I am one of more than 21 million Americans in recovery from alcohol or substance use disorder. Substance Use Disorder does not just touch one segment of the population—addiction touches the lives of literally every socioeconomic class. This year, I trained to become a CRS, or a Certified Recovery Specialist, which is like a peer specialist for those seeking recovery. I have over 13 years of recovery from alcohol use disorder and I have been wanting to do a new series about recovery. I hope to do it maybe once a month called Recovery for the Masses.

What does that mean?

It means that I talk about what recovery from alcohol or substance use disorder is all about. We often talk about how everyone in the world should do the kind of work those of us in recovery do. I don’t think many people outside of our community realize the daily work we do just to stay sober or clean or abstinent from our addiction, whether that be alcohol or drugs or sex or gambling or food or pornography or whatever can be used to avoid feelings. I personally think my first addiction, and my hardest addiction, is work. I literally have times in my life where I have thought about work 24/7, obsessed about it, worked until I forgot to pee, eat, sleep, take care of my body. Addiction is addiction is addiction.

Addiction is often defined specifically in relation to how someone uses the substance. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and usually continue despite harmful consequences. Read that again, DESPITE harmful consequences. Why? Because the effect of numbing out is better than raw dogging life. (Hey, I’ve been out here in the world raw dogging life for 13 + years now, and I can tell you it is hard work, people.)

So what is this first Recovery for the Masses episode like? It is a lot of disparate thoughts about recovery and addiction and learning how to feel again. I think I just opened my brain and let it flow. But upcoming episodes will be more succinct and thoughtful and follow a more linear pathway. I talk about how lucky I am to be an alcoholic.

By lucky, I mean this seriously and also provokingly, because alcoholism took me to my brink, to a place I had never been before—praying for death because the suffering was so desolate. And yet, I didn’t know it was alcohol that took me there. I was just suffering. I wanted to die. And the outward appearance of my life looked together, beautiful, and truly was everything I had ever wanted. But I couldn’t feel joy or gratitude. I was in a loop of suffering, and I couldn’t get drunk enough or sober enough. And so one day, I called the A.A. helpline and talked to another alcoholic, asking if they thought I was alcoholic. But she couldn’t answer that. We can only answer that question for ourselves.

Okay, I know it is not cool to quote J.K. Rowling, but I love this quote, "Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life." As Anne Lamott further goes on to talk about rock bottom, “There’s freedom in hitting bottom, in seeing that you won’t be able to save or rescue your daughter, her spouse, his parents, or your career, relief in admitting you’ve reached the place of great unknowing. This is where restoration can begin.”

We all hit rock bottoms in life. Maybe it is losing your job or breaking up with a partner or it is just that recognition that your life doesn’t bring you joy. Maybe it is realizing your hypervigilance might be from trauma. Or maybe your parents were alcoholic or drug addicted people or just emotionally immature. In the end, I think we all relate to rock bottom and facing that crossroads of—I have to change and that pathway is dark and I have no idea what it means for the rest of my life, or I can stay the same and if I stay in the same place, I get the same thing. Nothing changes if nothing changes. The choice is mine right now. I know for me and my drinking, I chose the latter until I just felt like that choice was death to a part of me that was curious, awe-struck, joyful, honest, kind…it is painful to share that, but that is where I was.

So desperation brought me to recovery. Not a desire to quit drinking, but a desire to stop my own suffering. If I could do that and have a glass of wine, I totally would. That isn’t in my cards. I come from a long line of drunken storytellers and comedians who turn into absent parents and mean drunks. I am recovering from alcoholism, but I am also an adult child and grandchild of an alcoholic parent and grandparents. I am recovering from them. I hit bottom in my own way. And sought recovery. Recovery brought me spiritual work, a community, gratitude, love, creativity, honesty, integrity…As Anne Lamott says, “...being sober delivered almost everything drinking promised.”

And in the end, you are here because recovery from alcoholism allowed me to pursue healing work because I sought healing work. I couldn’t get sober and not heal the other stuff. And in seeking healing, I found this part of me that had always been there—highly sensitive, intuitive, empathic and ready to be of service to other people.

Hopefully, though, this series transcends alcohol and substance use disorder and recovery. My intention is to transcend it, and bring you into the recovery part of life and open it up to everyone who is suffering from being human.

Love,

+ + + + +

Some links that might be helpful if you or someone you know is suffering from Alcohol or Substance Use Disorder or has a family member who is:

SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) https://www.samhsa.gov/recovery-month

Walk for Recovery – September 5, 2024 https://www.samhsa.gov/recovery-month/events#walk-for-recovery

President Joe Biden’s Proclamation on National Recovery Month 2024

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2024/08/30/a-proclamation-on-national-recovery-month-2024/

Alcoholics Anonymous https://www.aa.org/

Carl Jung’s letter to Bill W., the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous https://wccm.org/outreach-areas/addiction-recovery/carl-jung-letter-to-bill-w/

SMART Recovery https://smartrecovery.org/

Recovery Dharma https://recoverydharma.org/

Refuge Recovery https://www.refugerecovery.org/

Alanon/Alateen https://al-anon.org/

Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families https://adultchildren.org/

Episode 70: The Rat Chronicles with Dr. Amy Kittelstrom

Episode 70: the Rat Chronicles with Dr. Amy Kittelstrom

Dr. Amy Kittelstrom, is a professor of history at Sonoma State University and author of the book the Religion of Democracy (https://www.amazon.com/Religion-Democracy-Liberals-American-Tradition/dp/1594204853) . I asked this incredibly accomplished historian to talk about “Rats”, the rodents and the proverbial rats of the world. We talk about what it is like to be a single mother homeowner who needs some home repairs done and rats removed from the house. I am really grateful for the opportunity to share Dr. Kittelstrom, one of my closest friends, with my world.

 or listen on Spotify here:

Episode 69: Workaholism, Self-care, and Dropping with Angie

In this episode, which I initially wrote as an open letter to my clients and friends, is actually a series of writings about workaholism, alcoholism, codependency, self-care, self-preservation, being of service to others and some of my history. It is split up in 6 parts. I hope it resonates.

I also mention some things. Last words are Those last four words are not mine. It is Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian practice that combines love, forgiveness, repentance, and gratitude in four powerful phrases. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I Thank you. I love you.

 Links I mention:

⁠https://reductress.com/⁠

⁠https://www.amazon.com/Laura-Dernoot-Lipsky-Trauma-Stewardship/dp/B07VPNP3XF/⁠

Blessed 2024!

During this episode, I talk personally about myself and my journey this past year, working with the Chariot, and moving into 2024 with the Card of the Year--Strength. I also talk about the biggest astrology transits of the year and how to work with them.

blessed samhain!

Samhain (pronounced SOW-en, meaning Summer’s End in Gaelic), the third and final harvest festival, marks the beginning of the dark season for Wiccans and Pagans. Considered the most important day on the Wheel of the Year’s calendar, Samhain falls on October 31st to November 1st. It is the start of Winter in the Witches year. Many consider this New Year.

Agrarian communities clear their fields before Samhain, as lore warns that food harvested after Samhain somehow spoils and can only be left for night spirits, faeries, and the wandering dead. The community prepares for the long winter by drying the medicinal and magical herbs, canning, and preserving fruits and vegetables. Root vegetables are harvested and stored in the cellars for the long winter ahead. This is also traditionally the time when farmers butcher the animals for winter, drying and storing the meat to survive through the long winter. The meat salted and kept, and the bones thrown to the fire as an offering to the Gods and as a security for good fortune. (Bonfire= bone + fire)

In this way, the Horned God, an aged and matured stag, gives his life again so the people can survive the winter. The God is mourned over the three harvests—first as the Grain God, then as God of Harvest, then the Horned God.  The Goddess grieves and as she does, she transforms into the old, wise, and wizen crone. The Goddess, worshipped through the year in her three aspects, never dies, just as the Earth never dies. Travels to the underworld, as in the stories of the Sumerian goddess Inanna, Demeter/Persephone, Mabon and more tell us about the way we conquer death and the proximity of our loved ones.

So many cultures celebrate the dead at this time with Halloween (a secular holiday that has borrowed Samhain’s revelry), Día de los Muertos, All Soul’s Day, Feast of the Dead…this is the most holy of days. Though each sabbat honors the cycles of life and death, Samhain formally honors the Dead.  The veil between the living and the dead thins during this time—almost all can sense the connection to the ancestors, spirits, and faeries. When the animals are slaughtered at Samhain, farmers also decide which animals live—fed and housed during the long winter months. This is a big decision and commitment for farmers which often sacrifice food from their family for the keeping of their animals.

There is revelry and celebration at Samhain--magick, divination and spirit work performed at this time. But the Spirits and Fae are not always seen as allies, they are trickster, mischievous creatures right now. Unlike Beltane, people are not looking to spend all night outside. The night holds mystery and fear. So, offerings—food and drink—are left outside the doors for the Spirits and Fae. Feeding the dead remains an important part of the rituals around the world honoring the ancestors. These offerings ensured good fortune on the animals in the barn and the crops for the next year.

Because of the magical connection of this time, divination is extremely important part of this time—tarot, scrying, astrological year readings, runes, tea leaf readings, mediumship, and bone readings, where people’s names were written on bones or rocks and thrown into the fire. The next day, the bone or rock was “read” to tell the fortune of the person. Covens and families hold silent dinners where the dead are invited to share a meal. A place setting and plate of food is set in honor of the dead, and all stay silent, waiting for messages from the dead.

At Samhain, you are asked to connect with the Ancestors and your relationship with grief and death. Honor the ancestors and they can assist you on your path. Samhain is a magical time, so you are asked to take a divination method to connect to those who have passed over and the ancestors. Use whichever is your preferred way to connect to Spirit, and ask questions about the new year, about your spiritual journey and what is next for you.

I have created a Tarot Layout to connect with your ancestors and find out more about your new year.

This Samhain, I recorded a different kind of podcast, which is a history of Samhain and mostly, the modern Halloween…where does it come from and where are its roots in the old ways. You can listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Pocket Casts, Overcast, Radio Public, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Q&A with Angie on Episode 64 of Centered

In this latest episode of Centered, Angie answers some of the many questions she has received since her last Q&A episode in May on Astrology! Specifically, she is waxing a bit philosophic about life of life’s terms, being present, reacting vs. responding, sacred pause, being comfortable with being uncomfortable, authenticity and parenting and more. Here are the questions:

1. What is the best practice/stone to NOT shoot your mouth off at work? (seriously)

2. How do you know that you are doing the right thing with your life?

3. As a mother, how do you manage to show up as your authentic self in your business when your day is filled with chaos and managing tiny human’s schedules including your own? Do you have a specific crystal or ritual you do before you start working that helps ground you in the moment and clear your mind to focus on the task at hand?

If you want to ask me a question, you can send me a voice clip or email at angie@themoonandstone.com or you can send me a voice mail question: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/angie-yingst

Angie references these things in this podcast:

The Sacred Pause, An Excerpt from the Dharma of Poetry by John Brehm: https://wisdomexperience.org/wisdom-article/the-sacred-pause/

The Sacred Pause, Spiritual Practice by Tara Brach: https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/practices/view/21412?id=21412

Jack Kornfield on the Sacred Pause: https://jackkornfield.com/the-sacred-pause/

Tara Brach’s Meditation for the Sacred Pause: https://youtu.be/w-yF9EMkE88?si=IqtjUxKGs83vXfgH

Blessed September

Holy cow, it is all retrogrades, all the time. In this episode, I talks about the sky medicine, I mean, astrology of the month, pulls a Tarot card archetype for September (10 of Cups), and the Earth Medicine allies—Plant Medicine of Evening Primrose; Stone Medicine: Rose Quartz, Clear Quartz and Pyrite as well as work with the medicine of Wolf.

Remember these earth medicine guides can be tools for this month, and help you do your thang! A medicine bundle is for sale in my shop, as always. You can find September's Medicine Bundle here: https://themoonandstone.com/medicine/sept-2023-earth-medicine-mojo-bag-4lgxz

Remember I do collective Full Moon + New Moon readings for my membership group as well as a Guided Shamanic Journey with the animal medicine of the month. We also meet each Friday for circle, and you get free bonus of Q&As with me. Check out more information here:

https://themoonandstone.com/monthly-memberships

Some pieces I mention in the podcast that you might find interesting:

Most U.S. wolves are listed as endangered—again. Here’s why: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/gray-wolves-relisted-endangered-species-act

I love the story of Cailleach told by Scottish storyteller Shona Cowie. I link it in the show notes. https://youtu.be/faX4qZ4Ipbk?si=4egBKt39TAjw2UJs

Fresh Air: What we get wrong about Armageddon in the Bible. https://www.npr.org/2023/04/03/1167732024/what-we-get-wrong-about-armageddon-in-the-bible

Genesis Chapter 9:http://web.mit.edu/jywang/www/cef/Bible/NIV/NIV_Bible/GEN+9.html

blessed midsummer

Blessed Midsummer, friends, it is Angelica Yingst with a bonus episode celebrating another turn of the Wheel with Summer Solstice celebrations. Some call it Midsummer, Summer Solstice or litha or Leetha, as others pronounce it. I could not get a clear pronunciation of it. I found an Irish speaker who said Litha, but Wiccans will sometimes say Leetha. Ultimately, the word for the holiday comes from the Anglo-Saxon name for the month of June — Ǣrra-Līða. That essentially translates to “the first liða” — and July is effectively named “the second liða.”

Blessed Vernal Equinox

Blessed Vernal Equinox, friends! This episode of Centered is a reading, history and insights around Vernal Equinox or what modern pagans and Wiccans call Ostara.

Disclaimer for this episode is that I nerd out on some religious and cultural history of this time of the year. I include talk about Christianity, Judaism and the bible. I tend to give you biblical verses for context not preachiness. One thing to know is that I have a degree in Religion. We tend to say that Theologians, of which I am not, focus on what God thinks about humans, and Religion scholars focus on what humans think about God, so I am coming from the latter of these. And in this quest to put things into context, I often will go to the source within that religion. I do my best. I was raised Catholic and am now a pagan. I’m an earth-worshipping, tree hugging, faithful and faith filled believer in the Goddess and God, and often will just say God to mean it all. I want you to know that, because I don’t want to mislead anyone. I tend to see our alikeness in religious beliefs rather than our otherness. I could literally talk Religion all day. And maybe I will some episode.

So, there is no one traditional religion or culture where you would find all eight pagan/Wiccan sabbats as a holiday system. Wicca, also known as Witchcraft or the Craft, seeks to reestablish the link to the earth and the cycle of seasons by following what Wiccans call the "Wheel of the Year." Celebrations, known as Sabbats, serve as the spokes of the Wheel, reminding practitioners of humanity's intimate connection to nature. The Lesser Sabbats, tied to the solstices and equinoxes, and the Greater Sabbats, purportedly tied to harvest and livestock cycles, occur approximately every six weeks. Through observance of the Sabbats and Esbats, rituals taking place every new and full moon, witches keep in touch with the progression of the year and nature's rhythms.That came about in the 1950s with the creation of Wicca by Gerald Gardner.

Ostara celebrates the vernal equinox. Ostara is one of the holy days that Gardner solidified for pagans. Ostara, named after the Eostre, the Germanic Goddess of the Spring (others say she is Celtic) is celebrated on the Vernal or Spring Equinox. Like many other spring celebrations in other cultures, Ostara symbolizes fertility, rebirth, and renewal. This time of year marked the beginning of the agricultural cycle, and farmers would start planting seeds…listen to continue.

Date in Peace Podcast with Lauren Smith: Building Peaceful Relationships with Crystals & Tarot

I was so honored to talk to Lauren Smith on her podcast Date in Peace, which is all about dating. Lauren Smith is an author of the book the Mindful Dating Journal and creator of an app called the MettaDate Journal App. The Mindful Dating Journal is your guide to using mindfulness to find a deep connection. Explore your past and track your present to set the foundation for a fulfilling relationship and the app, MettaDate Journal App is a simple mindfulness tool for modern daters. Lauren and I met many many years ago when she was the youngest member of a meditation circle I belonged to where I learned to channel and talk to Angels. I remember Lauren’s vibrance and connect to the Elemental realm as such a beautiful addition to our circle of older women exploring the metaphysical together. I really loved talking about Tarot and Crystals and Dating. You can follow Lauren here on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mettadate/ and at her website: Lauren Smith Studio

all about me, again.

Today’s episode is a little bit different. I am answering some person questions asked by my listeners and followers. Most of them are about my life as a healer and teacher. Listen, I love answering questions about my research and work and where I get to go down rabbit holes, but the personal ones can be different and difficult. Not difficult, but just putting yourself out there can feel vulnerable.

So, here I am answering some questions, and I would love to have a regular monthly episode answering questions from you. If you want to ask me some research questions or questions about healing just know that 1. Or a love doing research, 2 or b. am dedicated to teaching and furthering people’s spiritual journey 3. Or c. I strive to be mindful that not everyone knows all these words and phrases and concepts that me and my other spiritual woo woo people take for granted. If you have an question, you can send it to me at angie@themoonandstone or goto my anchor.fm Centered portal and you can record a question for a future episode. Thanks and I hope you enjoy this episode of Centered.

Episode 8: Ethics with Kyra Paules

In this episode, Kyra and I talk about ethics as a healer and tarot reader and some challenges we face in our community without a governing board. We talk about holding space, training and certifications, soul retrieval, shadow work and more.

Episode 7: Angie Answers Your Questions

Angie flies solo on this episode by answering your questions. Angie talks about meditation, sacred spaces, discernment, shamanism and her origin story. Oh, and Angie mentions this is a mini-episode. It is not. Send me your questions at angie@themoonandstone.com

Episode 6: The Dead Baby Club with Jess Southwood

Today’s conversation is with one of my closest friends Jess Southwood. Unlike my other guests who work in the realm of spirituality, Jess is a Business consultant and facilitator, with a particular focus on leadership development, team dynamics and creativity in business. But honestly, I didn’t invite her to talk to me about her work, though it is fascinating and has taken her all over the world. I didn’t invite Jess to talk because she loves yoga and writing and poetry. I invited Jess here because we share something in common—we re both bereaved mothers. We “met” in 2009, after our second daughters were stillborn. And through our grief, we both sought community on the internet and through starting our own blogs about grief and mothering. We were both writerly and creative and irreverent and formed an immediate and all-encompassing bond. I wrote at a blog called Still life with Circles, and she wrote at a blog called afteriris and then we both were invited to write for the Literary Hub Glow in the Woods, founded by Kate Inglis as a place to write more literarily about what Kate titled babyloss. I later became the editor for a few years. We spent time in person together, and have maintained our friendship for the last 11 years, growing together and experiencing more of us. I wanted to talk to Jess about sisterhood, spiritual bonding, emotional intimacy, grieving publicly, and you know, dead babies. We say that quite a bit in this episode. We talk about it bluntly, like you find in the community of grieving women on the internet. There is a whole community. Most people who have never lost a child have no idea there is a corner of the internet where women talk about the death of their baby—over and over again. We write stories and exchange emails and have an entire community of bereaved mothers and fathers. Jess is an extraordinary woman. I feel so blessed to have her as one of my best friends. As you can hear from our conversation, she is deeply thoughtful, funny, intelligent, self-aware and interesting. Jess’ s first collection of poetry can be found at littlelosses.com. She has a Masters degree in Shakespeare Studies from the Shakespeare Institute in Stratford-upon-Avon. She lives in Birmingham, UK, with her husband, three children, two cats, one dog, and too many books. I hoe you enjoy my conversation with Jess Southwood.

My grief blog: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com

Jess’s first poetry collection: https://littlelosses.com/

Glow in the Woods: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/

We mentioned a few things in this podcast including the Right Where I Am Project.

First year: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/p/right-where-i-am-project.html

The last year I did this: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/2014/07/right-where-i-am-five-years-and-almost.html

Kate Inglis who coined the term Babyloss’s writing: http://www.kateinglis.com/

Kara Chipoletti Jones https://linktr.ee/griefandcreativity

Niobe and Dead Baby Jokes: her blog

Niobe’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Niobe

Angie’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Angie

Jess’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Jess

Episode 5: Coming Out of the Broom Closet with Kristin Gallagher

Eclectic Pagan Witch Kristin Gallagher and I sat down for a little talk about coming out of the closet—the broom closet, that is, and being a public witch. It is something we have privately talked about for years—sharing our experiences with being public and sharing our personal spirituality. I absolutely love Kristin and her energy. She has gotten super popular on TikTok, sharing her witchy content and Witchy Mamma lifestyle.

You can find Kristin on TikTok at @onewitchymamma  or on Instagram at witchy.mamma – Instagram and coming soon (no videos up yet) WitchyMamma – Youtube. I hope you enjoy my conversation with Kristin Gallagher. Hope you enjoy my conversation with Kristin!

Episode 2: What is Tarot's place in this moment? with Kyra Paules

Oh, boy, I was looking forward to this conversation with Kyra Paules so much. I have known Kyra for a number of years, and she has become one of my go-to Tarot friends who I talk to about cards, life and ethics. In fact, I called on her when I was working on my June reading, because I just did not know if any of this was relevant or useful in this time. She and I talked about it, and I thought…this might be a useful conversation to have on the podcast. So, I hope you enjoy it!