Spirit Journey with Skull

I am so honored to welcome a piece by Julie Taylor, ACM. Julie and I got to know each other through Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy. Later she studied Tarot through the Moon + Stone Healing Academy and joined my weekly circle. Since then, she has become one of the moderators at the Moon + Stone Healing Academy’s Facebook page and one of the contributors here on our site.

Julie is a certified Advanced Crystal Master and Reiki Master. She's a lover of words and moon magic. She received her bachelor's in professional writing and associate's in early childhood education and practices crystal reiki on herself and with others. She lives in sync with moon cycles and seasons and practices her witchery in the Las Vegas Valley of Nevada. She's the author of the children's book, Blue Hissy Highness and the Shiny Stones, founder of StoneSpelling.com, a new community for sharing witchery, curator of the Private Facebook Group, Stone Spelling & Witchery, is a moderator for the Moon + Stone Healing Academy Facebook group, and is a contributor here at the Moon + Stone Healing Academy.

Follow Julie Taylor on Stone Spelling

Trigger Warning: Touches on topic of death

Skulls, the spirit of them, have called to me. In years past, I’ve noticed them in crystal stores, seen them around Halloween time, and noticed them around Day of the Dead. But I hadn’t yet felt the urge to buy one or spend time learning about them enough to open to what they might mean to me--until this year. Now that I think back, I think skull spirit started calling to me late last winter.

More and more my eyes landed on crystal skulls as I shopped stones but I couldn’t land on any that felt a right fit for me. I started to wonder why. I started to think maybe I’m missing something. And then I thought that if the universe was speaking to me, sending a call to connect with skull spirit, that maybe I’m meant to learn before I leap.

So, this summer, I started a quest to find out what skulls represent for me in a spiritual sense. I began with the dictionary. It’s one of my favorite books. It’s like a marker at the beginning of the trail, a spiritual reminder to keep me from falling down too many rabbit holes or from traveling astray of where I want to go.

The first definition is what one might expect with its description of the skeleton of the head.

And even definition 4 with its “emblem of death” seemed expected considering celebrations around Halloween and el Dia de los Muertos. But definitions 2 and 3 sparked something new for me.

Definition 2: the seat of understanding or intelligence: mind

Definition 3a: the crown of the head

Hmm...my eyes paused over “seat” and “understanding” and “crown,” and my intuition translated “seat” to the root chakra and connected “understanding” to the “crown.” My thoughts started running ahead, following the ideas popping into my imagination, sparking for me the sense that I’m meant to connect special meaning between earth and skeleton with crown and skull.

They’re interconnected but there’s emphasis on the journey up to the skull...starting from the root charka, building air in the belly, moving up through the heart, and signaling to the crown.

And I take in that mindful, deep breath, and as I let it out, I feel the Element of Air moving in me to connect body, mind, and spirit.

Whoosh

Ahead of me on this spiritual path, a rabbit hole appears, and I’m spiked to go down it. The Element of Air is wafting and saying to me, “when breath becomes air.”

Wait, what? My mind’s eye feels an almost mental shake of clarity, because I know those words. I ask myself, “Where have I heard those words?” And I remember.

I attended a Death Cafe last year, and I saw a book titled, When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi. Poetic. Four words that conjured in me a sense, a feeling about life after human death. That when a last human breath is taken, the soul enters Air, moving into spirit, wafting through realms, and at times keeping me company with their essence.

Air is moving in me. In through the nose, out through the nose. The skull represents that for me.

The sense that with every breath I take, I connect body, mind, and soul to spirit, and my heart guides me to who and to when. The air I breathe is air my ancestors once breathed. Skull spirit helps me connect to air of loved ones--loved ones who have crossed to a place so close yet so far that I ache to translate all they have to say. Dear ones whose breath became air speak through skull, waiting patiently for me to understand, willing to return again and again, to sit with me, to come closer and to place signals in my path until my imaginings light up in my mind’s eye. And I breathe in the spirit of connection to spirit.

Now the next step in my journey is to find the stone skulls meant to be with me.

Time, the Destroyer

Dear Time Bandits,

My Shamanic teacher once said during a business coaching call, “if I can give you one piece of advice.” I paused. This nugget will be magick, I thought. “Everything is going to take you two to three times longer than you think it will.”

At the time, I didn’t think that was so insightful. I used to be good at time management, but now, I realize it is the best bit of advice…schedule things 2-3 times longer than you expect. Set expectations low. You know how the Two of Pentacles shows a guy juggling everything and looking slick, but when he is reversed everything falls everywhere and the illusion of having it together is totally gone? Yeah, that is me right now. Reversed. Everything is taking me soooo long. Am I in slo-mo, or am I practicing more self-care and thus cannot get as much done? 

Maybe choice 2, but also a little of both.

In the end, the time thing is a big deal. I unwind my programming around time. Like a kitten with yarn, it is just a big tangled mess, weaving in and around the house, knotting and fraying, and my potted plants are suffering. When I was a kid, my mother was always late. We used to call it Panamanian Standard Time-15 minutes after start time. As an adult, lateness gives  me agita. I start to freak out and stress everyone out. As my youngest says tearing up, "Stop hurrying, mama." Then I am early and sit in the car like a crazy person waiting for someone else to show up so I can look normal.

What do I feel about time now? I can give you a thousand examples of time speeding and a thousand more of it being slow and plodding this last year. I cried because there wasn't enough time, and cried when I felt like time was not moving fast enough. When I had cancer, I kept reminding myself that time was an illusion, and I could jump ahead to the good stuff, but I didn't and I couldn't.

Most days, I wake up with ants in my pants and don’t stop moving. My leg bounces all day. I drive fast. I chew my nails.  I stutter and get caught on words because my tongue cannot keep up with my brain. I run into hallway corners because it is wasting my time to follow the giant human size space I am supposed to be walking within. As a middle aged person, I cannot believe how long I have been alive and how fast it all has gone.

But since I was released to my own devices in the work machine, I especially feel like time has been moving so quickly, which I have been moving through mud, losing time when I write and create, think and meditate. The day is gone and my schedule, while full and creative, was not as well-managed as I wanted it to be. Time stalks us. Kyra said in our latest podcast—I don’t think self-sabotage exists…we just have to look at what needs we are neglecting. And maybe I am finally meeting my needs, and that just takes extra minutes in the day. And I want to practice at a slower pace, savoring the moments of magick throughout my life. When I think about time, I also think about mortality. Time is the Goddess of Destruction, Kali. 

I read a post on Facebook that set me right on my ideas of Kali, and of course, changed everything. I used to think Kali was the goddess of Destruction and Justice and Rage. My sacred anger manifest in visions of her revenge. I called her in, worshipped at her altar, especially with my work around healing sexual trauma. She came at an important time, but I totally misunderstood why she came. I thought it was for my anger, but Shivani Hawkins shared this on Facebook a few years ago. I come back to it again and again.

Kālī is not the goddess of anger…She is Śiva's direct power, wisdom, and love. She is the power of meditation. Yes, she is described as an effulgent, luminous darkness because that is in part what the inner world looks like when you are meditating.

Kālī…destroys EVERYTHING, because TIME destroys everything, including the construct of self and existence itself. 

Is that scary? Of course it is. Why do you think you keep avoiding meditation practice?

In her mythology, she first kills off the bad guys (harmful beliefs). Then she kills off the good guys ("good" beliefs). Finally, she even cuts off her own head (Chinnamasta Kālī) because even SHE does not exist. Nothing is spared from her "wrath" (but is it wrath really?) because nothing but beloved Śiva - the supreme Oneness - is real.

Shivani’s powerful post unlocked something in me when I saw it. I have not been praying to Sacred Rage and Destruction. I have been praying to Time and Meditation. I have been praying for the illusions I hold to be made clear, to break down my patterns, to rescue me from me. I have been saying, Dark Mother, Sacred Time, help me see the illusions that keep me in chains. And she responded with lessons:

Your elders grow old, get sick, and die, but so do pets and babies sometimes. Just sit with that.

Your body is impermanent, child. Breasts are used to feed children, but you can still live without them. You can live without a womb. Cancer will show you that. Just sit with that.

You are not your body. Your body will die too one day. It may be tomorrow. We cannot control when or where, but we will all not have a body. Just sit with that.

You, your idea of you, will be destroyed too, because you too are an illusion. You are a result of a million actions and those actions, forgotten and unimportant, will be lost. Just sit with that.

Sit, daughter, sit still and meditate. And when you are not afraid, sit some more.

I sit. Kali destroys because time destroys. Everything is impermanent, except all that is, which we are also part of, even if there isn’t a we.  I have re-engaged the philosophical part of my brain. It is like my day job stopped and my body was like Sit. Contemplate egolessness. Read. Feel small. Move in sacred ways. Sit again. 

Do I have monkey mind? Yes. 

Do I have ants in my pants? Yes. 

Do I open my eyes at five minutes thinking it has been 30? Yes.

Do I still sit? Yes.

I want to share another paragraph of Shivani’s post:

This is full-blown liberation here. Not just freedom from what is harmful to us as mammals in human bodies, but freedom from every thought, concept, and self-construct that exists to separate us from the field of Beingness itself. From the pain of separation itself. She (Kali) is the vehicle of pure mystical union, where only God remains.

The Myth of Separation, Pixie calls it, the idea that we are all different and special and separate from the Earth, from Love, from the Universe. We are all one. And when we accept that, we can heal. When we surrender to time, allow the destruction to be part of us, returning us again to the whole of consciousness, we experience all that is. 

See what I mean about time? My wandering brain explores long forgotten dark tunnels, digging into muscle memory of thinking about thinking, returning from its hibernation into both old and new landscape. I guess that happens when I just sit with it all.

I didn’t mean to say all this. I honestly, just  meant to come in and just say:

I’m back, bitches!

But you know, like I know, I was never really gone. I was working. Sometimes on me. Sometimes just logging miles on the Mami-mobile I have been taking a minute to breathe and think and that is giving me some amazing ideas for offerings. Until then, if you want to connect with me, here is what I am offering:

- Private one-on-one shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one distant shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions through Zoom or recording

 - Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions through Zoom or recording

 -  The Moon + Stone Healing Membership which includes
        - Private Membership in our FB Group
        - Collective Readings at the New Moon + Full Moon
        - a monthly shamanic journey
        - Live Circle time with me, community and more in the Moon + Stone Membership group

Episode 43: Angie rambling and Q&As

Another rambly episode of the podcast for you, squirrel friends. (RuPaul, I adore you.) I promise more regular postings and musings as I wind down my other life and fire up a new way of being.

Meditation from my Altar

This week, I am working with self-care and self-love. I mean, let’s be honest, I am always working on self-care and self-love. But this week, I began writing a guide for our students at HMCA on Self-Care, and I went back through my writing on self-care, which inevitably took me to writing on self-love.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but it wasn’t that long ago that I realized what self-love meant. I mean, I'd give lip service to it in my 20s and 30s, but it wasn’t until my 40s was when I really started to understand what self-love looks like, feels like, sounds like and acts like.

What I learned is that it has to be self-generated. That seems like a no-brainer, but it hadn’t always been that way or me. I felt love for myself only if someone told me they loved me. I lived compliment to compliment, going back to my default self-loathing setting if I sensed rejection.

But true self-love doesn't care if you are rejected or criticized, self-love knows who you are. It doesn’t care if you drank 8 glasses of water, or ate a gallon of ice cream. Self-love doesn’t judge. Self-love doesn’t care if you grow hair where society says you shouldn’t or don’t grow hair where you should. Self-love isn’t about a number on a scale or on a calendar.

Self-love is an action phrase. It is healthy boundaries. It's not accepting unacceptable behavior. It is early bedtimes. It's walking away when you aren't loved in the way you love yourself. Self-love is learning to mother yourself and care for yourself even when no one is around. Self-love illuminates all darkness and skeletons and shadow shit, because self-love cannot exist with denial, lies or secrets. Self-love means you love you unconditionally, meaning without conditions.

When we decide to embark on the journey of self-love and radical self-acceptance, it means we become overly, abundantly, and radically accepting of every parts of ourselves. I no longer just love me if I do some external measure of “goodness” perfectly today. I love the imperfect me. Because, honestly, I am 100% perfect at being Angie.

It's the hardest relationship i have ever been in--toxic and abusive at times. But I'm totally committed now. I'm in for the long haul.

Mother Earth Father Sky Meditation

On Sunday, April 12th, I was invited by the Community for Holistic Integration (CHI) to lead a meditation at 11:11am. This meditation is one I do when I need to ground and open to Spirit. I think of this as a connection to all living beings and to all that is. Connecting with deep roots into Mother Earth and then connecting up with Father Sky, plugging into Spirit. I opened this meditation with the poem, i thank you God by e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any—lifted from the no
of all nothing—human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Please enjoy this meditation and come back anytime you are needing connection, grounding or more.

This poem was originally published in Xaipe1 (New York: Oxford University Press, 1950), reissued in 2004 by Liveright, an imprint of W.W. Norton & Company.

amethyst

As I began exploring stones and crystals on my blog, I wanted to start with some stones my readers might be familiar with, but might not know how to work with energetically. Last week's, hemimorphite certainly isn't the most well-known of stones, but after my discussion with Rita on Talk-N-Angels, I thought I should cover it. I know whenever I'm listening to a podcast about crystals (Okay, I'm a bit of a podcast nerd) I just want to see what stones they are talking about. So, this week, I'm going back to the quartz family with a familiar stone to most people--amethyst. 

Amethyst draws you in with its beautiful color, which ranges from pale lavender to a deep purple. And a deep deep purple that appears almost black. There is a type of amethyst called chevron amethyst, which is banded in a chevron pattern. Gorgeousness. It has a Moh's hardness of 7 and is indeed a member of the quartz family, making it resonate beautifully with other quartz stones like citrine, clear quartz, smoky quartz, aventurine, chalcedony, agates, carnelian, among others. Amethyst, like malachite and lapis lazuli, has a rich history and mythology. It is said to be in the ninth stone on the breastplate of the high priest of Israel. And amethyst was one of the stones where each of the twelve tribes were written. In medieval times, soldiers wore it as protection on the battle field. As far back as the Neolithic era, 25,000 BCE, amethyst was found in archaeological digs as part of gravesites and ritual. Through the Common Era, amethyst was seen as a stone of royalty, and used in crowns and rings of Kings and Queens. 

Amethyst's name is derived from the Greek word for drunk (methustos).  Actually, amethyst is a translation of amethustos, or not drunken.  The Ancient Greek wore amethyst, and made wine glasses from amethyst, because they believed amethyst prevented intoxication. Indeed, amethyst today is considered the stone of sobriety, worn to help balance the mind, and bring clarity. It also emits calming energy, which helps relieve the frustration that often brings the first drink. I am personally working on a list of stones to be used with each of the Twelve Steps and the virtues associated with each step. I think amethyst is a beautiful first step stone, and one that works well with each stage of recovery.

The belief of amethyst's power of sobriety may stem from the myth of Amethyst in Ancient Greek Mythology, which may or may not have first derived from the French poet, Remy Belleau, who wrote often about crystals and precious stones. I can't find any documentation besides Wiki either way, so I am just sharing the entire mythology part of from Wikipedia page on amethyst.

In his poem "L'Amethyste, ou les Amours de Bacchus et d'Amethyste" (Amethyst or the loves of Bacchus and Amethyste), the French poet Remy Belleau (1528–1577) invented a myth in which Bacchus, the god of intoxication, of wine, and grapes was pursuing a maiden named Amethyste, who refused his affections. Amethyste prayed to the gods to remain chaste, a prayer which the chaste goddess Diana answered, transforming her into a white stone. Humbled by Amethyste's desire to remain chaste, Bacchus poured wine over the stone as an offering, dyeing the crystals purple.[16][17]

Variations of the story include that Dionysus had been insulted by a mortal and swore to slay the next mortal who crossed his path, creating fierce tigers to carry out his wrath. The mortal turned out to be a beautiful young woman, Amethystos, who was on her way to pay tribute to Artemis. Her life was spared by Artemis, who transformed the maiden into a statue of pure crystalline quartz to protect her from the brutal claws. Dionysus wept tears of wine in remorse for his action at the sight of the beautiful statue. The god's tears then stained the quartz purple.[18]

This myth and its variations are not found in classical sources. Although the titan Rhea does present Dionysus with an amethyst stone to preserve the wine-drinker's sanity in historical text.[19]

Because of its association as an anti-intoxicant, in medieval times, it was said to also prevent the intoxication of love, so priests and monks often wore amethyst as a symbol for their vows of chastity. It has strong spiritual roots. Even Buddhists in Tibet used amethyst in prayer beads and carvings.

This makes perfect sense to me, because amethyst is a beautiful meditation ally, because it resonates and stimulates the crown chakra, as well as the third eye. It is also an incredibly protective stone, and I encourage people to use it in their toolkit of protection right alongside black tourmaline, onyx, smoky quartz, and other stones. It enhances your intuitive abilities and helps you activate your Higher Self. It is wonderful in environments, and works well in grids for protection and transmuting energy. Or just sitting in a room that you want purified and high vibrational. So, a large cluster of amethyst is a great addition to any room, but particularly a room for healers. It helps shield energy, as well as assist healing. One of the most beautiful aspects of amethyst is how it gently helps you see the root of your dis-ease. Naisha Ahsian says that amethyst assists "in eliminating emotion-based decision-making, allowing one to take actions based on higher guidance and spiritual understanding." WOWEE!

Amethyst works well with other stones. This grid, created with a flower of life grid pattern is used to stimulate upper chakra work and for meditation. Amethyst works beautifully in grids for addiction, protection, healing, health, disease, emotional balance and a whole host of other things. I personally love using amethyst in grid with black tourmaline as a protector, purifier, and transmuter of negative energy.

Because it works so hard for you, work hard for you amethyst by re-tuning it fairly often with a tuning fork, singing bowl or other resonator. Amethyst is particularly sensitive to sunlight, so be kind to her and help amethyst keep its beautiful color by keeping her out of sunlight. Amethyst is able to withstand water, so cleanse her through running water of the ocean, a stream or other natural body of water, and of course, you can set amethyst out in full moon light to soak up all that wisdom. 

A beautiful affirmation for amethyst comes from Naisha Ahsian's work in Book of Stones.

I am purified, uplifted and protected through my connection to the Divine. 

I would love to hear your thoughts and experience with amethyst, so share below in the comment section. Or ask to hear about any stone of interest to you. With love.