Shamanic Journey with a Skull

Through my time as an earth medicine practitioner, I have developed intimate relationships with the crystals and tools that have come to me. I consider myself an Earth Medicine Keeper, meaning that I often will find medicine of the Earth, like feathers, bones, skulls, crystals, tools, artwork, and altar pieces. I am exceedingly good at hypervigilance when I am out and about in the world, probably one of those residuals from trauma that serves me in my field. I notice small movements, like animals on the forest floor. I point out the toads, salamanders, birds, feathers, and animals camouflaged in their natural habitats. I find patterns in the things, which is an excellent skill set for finding a four-leaf clover, which I am also very good at. This isn’t even a humble brag, this is a brag brag. Because, let’s face it, sometimes it is good to know what you are good at. Being able to see a discrepancy in the force offers me a opening to gather medicine for my clients. Side note: I am also awesome at this at Yard Sales, Thrift Shops and antique malls for all those interested in a buddy or shopper.

I find many pieces for my work in the most unlikeliest of places. I take them home, and clean them. I house them, and consistently cleanse, clear and clean until they are ready for meditation or journey work. Then I journey with the piece to find out how I can best work with this medicine and how it wants to work with me. Sometimes I pass the medicine on, if it was meant for a client. I actually am starting to resell, recycle, and upcycle my finds for my online shop.

So, what is a shamanic journey? Well, journey is a practice best described as a lucid trance state. In the alpha state, it's akin to meditation. In the theta state, the deeper level of transmission, more akin to the dream state. In this way, we visualize and communicate with our medicine and guides much more easily. Intelligence comes through the sensory processes and is later interpreted cognitively.

My questions are often the same ilk—why did you come to me? Are you personal medicine or medicine I will use with clients? What messages do you have? How would you like me to work with you? How can I best honor you and keep you?

In Spring of 2023, my bestie Sharon Muzio and I took a trip to Columcile Megalith in Bangor, Pennsylvania. It is a standing stone Celtic park that is not only beautiful, but sacred and holy. It was an awesome weekend away, and we decided to check out a few crystal shops in the area, as you do when you are witchy bad asses with a rainy day. I found this incredible shop called Celestial Journeys in Stroudsburg, PA. It seems to be permanently closed now, which is so sad, because she had an incredible selection of crystals and offerings.

I went in there looking for nothing, and then we made eye contact with a skull that was white. It looked like bone, almost. When I saw it, I thought it looked like Ocean Jasper, definitely in my top five crystals of all time. One of the things I love about Ocean Jasper is its connection to the Earth, and healing work. Each piece is entirely different from another, but they often have markings that  look like cells almost. I kept walking back over to it in the case, not touching it yet, but just watching it. The consciousness of it felt palpable. I couldn’t not think of this skull as I walked around the store. Finally, I went back and asked the owner Janine what it was. She told me it was fossilized coral.

Hmmm…interesting.

Fossilized coral skull. Of course, the little corals are going to look like bones. I assumed it had limestone with it, and my goodness, it was so cool. I decided this was Spirit urging me to connect with a Crystal Skull.

Now, I did have a skull at the time—a black Obsidian skull that I worked with for ancestral healing work, and my altars for Ancestor. My beautiful friend Lisa D’Arrigo sent me a gorgeous little Cherry Jasper skull that I worked with when I was healing from my double mastectomy in 2021. But this Skull felt different, like it was here to teach and work with me.

I didn’t immediately jump into journey with the Skull. I spent the days preceding my journey day prepping. I made baños. Cleared and cleansed with skull with drum, rattle, and burning herbs. I set aside a whole day for journeywork, and this was part of that day. I took a long ceremonial bath in dead sea salt water and prepared for a long journey with the Skull. I brought it to my bed, and set myself up with pillows and Icaros, the Central and South American songs used during Ayahuasca and other medicine. journeys. Now, one of my goals was to develop a relationship with the medicine—specifically with the skull.

Every skull keepers I know who have deep meaningful relationships with their skulls seemed to know their name, their medicine, channeling the wisdom of the Crystal Skull. So, that was one of my questions: What is your name? Then deeper:

  • What work do you want to do through me?

  • Why did you come to me?

  • Are you personal medicine or medicine I will use with clients?

  • What messages do you have?

  • How would you like me to work with you?

  • How can I best honor you and keep you?

As I began, I seemed plunged into a world with many layers and levels, different outlooks, but it was all fluorescent and changeable. And I continued to try to be grounded in a journey on the land, but it was somewhere between ether and space. It reminded me of the movie Tron. But as I explored, and frustratingly was trying to direct my journey, I kept asking the question, I am here to know your name. Tell me what Medicine you have for me. It was just the Icaros and the place that could be very large or very small.

Why are you asking me my name?

The Skull began speaking. And it continued as colors and shapes, nebula and sacred geometry was all around me. “I used to have a whole universe in me and you are asking if I have a human name.”

Suddenly, I could see all this nebulous color and shape come into focus. It was a coral reef, so deep and long and intricate. It was like watching a movie on speed 4x, except the 4 were years, millennia, really. I could see the life cycle of plants and anemones and fish—their babies, their babies’ babies, birth, life, mate, death, and then birth, life, mate and death, over and over and I could see the eating of fish my other fish and the gentleness of the animals in and around the coral. The whole of the coral reef was a universe where certain fish and plants spent their whole life. The Skull repeated itself, “I used to be an entire universe. You can never fully grasp what that means. You can never understand with your ways unless you want to. You humans just want to possess things. You take me out the Earth, cut me out of the womb again, after my life cycle being a universe, from the place where I lived, and then you take me and carve me into your image and ask me my name, like I am happy to be here looking like a human.”

“You shaped me to be you. You carved me in your image, to look human, but I am anything but human. I had a universe in me and around me the likes you will never understand and you dare to ask me what my human name is. I am everything. I am the Earth. I am the universe..”

At first, I had that sarcastic defeating Gen X voice in me, “Figures I’d get the angry little skull.”

The Skull continued to talk, “You are asking the wrong questions. You are asking me my name. How you work with me? These are petty human concerns.” I could still see the coral extending out into the sea, and housing all the life cycles.

What the skull taught me is that Earth Medicine isn’t us, we cannot project our humanness onto the Earth. It doesn’t have a consciousness like ours. The Earth doesn’t pull things out of its environment and expect it to thrive and teach and be wise and understand humanity. The Coral taught me about community and interconnectedness, and showed me, more than meditation or writing about (which I had to do for my Level 3 shamanic training) ever could communicate—we must dismantle the myth of separation. Not only is the Coral the Sea, but it is also the Earth. It is the fish it housed. It is the salt, the plants, the limestone. It is me. It is you.

My line of question was very me-centeric. I was asking the questions about what I had just bought, That in and of itself was problematic to him. When I asked, what's your name? How do you want to work with me? It was all me, me, me, me. I wanted a cool story. I wanted to channel the medicine. But the Skull was like, all righty, well, let's get you in line here. And it was interesting. He showed me the universes that exist on the Earth, and that right now, you are no different Angie. There are universes around all things.

I am a human. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. And he was basically saying, this is how you work with me. Learn about me, learn about the earth. I am the medicine of the earth. So, in the end, this tempermental coral skull was not moody at all, but honest and wise. He teaches me every day about how to work with the earth medicine and not how to possess it or use it and be an ally to it. We are in service to the medicine, not the other way around. Humility and walking the beauty way can help soften tough relationships with the medicine and the Earth, which continues to struggle with heat and climate change. I was asking its name, but that was decidedly the wrong question. The question I should be asking is Would you please show me the way of the Earth?

In the end, that is what I do. I'm an earth medicine practitioner and I was asking a Coral Skull, “In what ways are you human? How do you be more human? What kind of human ways can you help me with?” But that is not the medicine of the Earth—it about the wisdom of the animal, the plant, the plant.

As I have explored my unnamed Crystal Skull, I researched coral, because of course, I did. Cool Coral factoids:

  • Coral grow by biomineralization, a process that starts when the young coral polyp uses seawater to create calcium carbonate crystals.

  • Corals worldwide, no matter if they live in the ocean or in a tank, bloom at the same time. They communicate no matter where they are in the world.

  • Coral reefs only take up 0.0025 % of the earth's surface but they, along with other marine organisms are responsible for producing 50% of the earth oxygen.

  • They also absorb nearly one-third of the carbon dioxide generated from burning fossil fuels.

  • Synchronized mass coral spawning typically occurs several days after a full moon once a year.

I bought my Skull and continue to build a deep relationship with its medicine. He comes in one form or another in every session I have. I mostly keep him on my altar and honor his medicine. As we have softened and taught me more about working with the Earth, our work together seems one of the most important medicine journeys ever.

Do you have a skull? Tell me about it in the comments! Also, let me know how you loved Skull Week, and I can’t wait to explore more topics with you. If you love my deep dives, consider asking me a question to cover in my next podcast episode, which is a Q&A episode. Send your question via email either written or you can send an audio file to angie (at) themoonandstone (dot) com.

Spirit Journey with Skull

I am so honored to welcome a piece by Julie Taylor, ACM. Julie and I got to know each other through Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy. Later she studied Tarot through the Moon + Stone Healing Academy and joined my weekly circle. Since then, she has become one of the moderators at the Moon + Stone Healing Academy’s Facebook page and one of the contributors here on our site.

Julie is a certified Advanced Crystal Master and Reiki Master. She's a lover of words and moon magic. She received her bachelor's in professional writing and associate's in early childhood education and practices crystal reiki on herself and with others. She lives in sync with moon cycles and seasons and practices her witchery in the Las Vegas Valley of Nevada. She's the author of the children's book, Blue Hissy Highness and the Shiny Stones, founder of StoneSpelling.com, a new community for sharing witchery, curator of the Private Facebook Group, Stone Spelling & Witchery, is a moderator for the Moon + Stone Healing Academy Facebook group, and is a contributor here at the Moon + Stone Healing Academy.

Follow Julie Taylor on Stone Spelling

Trigger Warning: Touches on topic of death

Skulls, the spirit of them, have called to me. In years past, I’ve noticed them in crystal stores, seen them around Halloween time, and noticed them around Day of the Dead. But I hadn’t yet felt the urge to buy one or spend time learning about them enough to open to what they might mean to me--until this year. Now that I think back, I think skull spirit started calling to me late last winter.

More and more my eyes landed on crystal skulls as I shopped stones but I couldn’t land on any that felt a right fit for me. I started to wonder why. I started to think maybe I’m missing something. And then I thought that if the universe was speaking to me, sending a call to connect with skull spirit, that maybe I’m meant to learn before I leap.

So, this summer, I started a quest to find out what skulls represent for me in a spiritual sense. I began with the dictionary. It’s one of my favorite books. It’s like a marker at the beginning of the trail, a spiritual reminder to keep me from falling down too many rabbit holes or from traveling astray of where I want to go.

The first definition is what one might expect with its description of the skeleton of the head.

And even definition 4 with its “emblem of death” seemed expected considering celebrations around Halloween and el Dia de los Muertos. But definitions 2 and 3 sparked something new for me.

Definition 2: the seat of understanding or intelligence: mind

Definition 3a: the crown of the head

Hmm...my eyes paused over “seat” and “understanding” and “crown,” and my intuition translated “seat” to the root chakra and connected “understanding” to the “crown.” My thoughts started running ahead, following the ideas popping into my imagination, sparking for me the sense that I’m meant to connect special meaning between earth and skeleton with crown and skull.

They’re interconnected but there’s emphasis on the journey up to the skull...starting from the root charka, building air in the belly, moving up through the heart, and signaling to the crown.

And I take in that mindful, deep breath, and as I let it out, I feel the Element of Air moving in me to connect body, mind, and spirit.

Whoosh

Ahead of me on this spiritual path, a rabbit hole appears, and I’m spiked to go down it. The Element of Air is wafting and saying to me, “when breath becomes air.”

Wait, what? My mind’s eye feels an almost mental shake of clarity, because I know those words. I ask myself, “Where have I heard those words?” And I remember.

I attended a Death Cafe last year, and I saw a book titled, When Breath Becomes Air, by Paul Kalanithi. Poetic. Four words that conjured in me a sense, a feeling about life after human death. That when a last human breath is taken, the soul enters Air, moving into spirit, wafting through realms, and at times keeping me company with their essence.

Air is moving in me. In through the nose, out through the nose. The skull represents that for me.

The sense that with every breath I take, I connect body, mind, and soul to spirit, and my heart guides me to who and to when. The air I breathe is air my ancestors once breathed. Skull spirit helps me connect to air of loved ones--loved ones who have crossed to a place so close yet so far that I ache to translate all they have to say. Dear ones whose breath became air speak through skull, waiting patiently for me to understand, willing to return again and again, to sit with me, to come closer and to place signals in my path until my imaginings light up in my mind’s eye. And I breathe in the spirit of connection to spirit.

Now the next step in my journey is to find the stone skulls meant to be with me.

the mystery and controversy of crystal skulls

Welcome to Skull Week!

It is a little like Shark Week, except with skulls. Skullnado anyone?

Part of the reason I wanted to share some goodness about skullies with you is that we are coming up on October and we will be inundated with crystal skull pictures. and I know you are thinking what I was thinking more than 15 years ago, what’s with the crystal skull thing?

Well, past life Angie, I am here to share a little history of Crystal Skulls in modern consciousness. I have to warn you, some of you will be disappointed at the lack of woo in this piece, because it is mostly a debunking of the mystical origins of crystal skulls, and yet, I totally love skulls. I think they have spiritual and mystical value, even if they are not 10,000 years old and placed here by extraterrestrials. If you like that mythology, cool. You do you, boo, but this is my research monkey hat coming out, jumping on my head, and saying, the truth is out there.

Other things that may or may not happen this week: a skull-y tarot spread a guided skull meditation, my first guest blog feature from Julie Taylor about Skulls and her personal journey with skulls, and then an excerpt from my journal work with one of my skulls. Enjoy Skull week!

Crystal Skulls are available at almost any rock and gem show you attend. Whether carved by master carver Leandro de Souza or by anonymous master skull carvers, these carved masterpieces bring intrigue and mystery. I know as a Crystal Expert, I am frequently asked about Skulls. Some people are almost repulsed by them, confused about why they are around, asking questions like:

“Who would work with them and why?”
“What are they?”
”They are so morbid. Why would anyone buy them?”

Others are immediately drawn to them. It is interesting because I have seen people almost repulsed by them, later become devotees. While skulls are widely available, there are a handful of crystal skulls that have captivated many and fueled intense controversy among archaeologists, scientists, spiritualists, and museum officials for more than a century. Their legends blend elements of mystery, history, and mythology.

A dozen of these rare crystal skulls in private and public collections, some crystal clear, others of smoky or colored quartz, are actual human size and of very fine detail, while others are smaller and less refined. All are believed to originate from Mexico and Central America. Many believe these skulls were carved thousands or even tens of thousands of years ago by an ancient Mesoamerican civilization. Others think they may be relics from the legendary island of Atlantis or proof that extraterrestrials visited the Aztec sometime before the Spanish conquest.

Among the most well-known legends is that of the 13 original crystal skulls, which are thought to play a significant role in the elevation of human consciousness. I’ll get into that below.

Joshua Shapiro, coauthor of Mysteries of the Crystal Skulls Revealed, shares an insight into what draws people to work with skulls, "We believe the Crystal Skulls are a form of computer which are able to record energy and vibration that occur around them...The skull will pictorially replay all events or images of the people who have come into contact with them (i.e. they contain the history of our world)."

Most archaeologists and scientists are skeptical, and I will get into that below, but in terms of pre-Columbian artwork and artisan work in the Americas, particularly among the Aztec in Mexico, skulls figure prominently in artwork and iconography, so the connection between skulls and Mesoamerican culture seems like a natural historical fit.

The Legend of the 13 Crystal Skulls

There is a channeling from Harley Swift-Deer Reagan about 13 original crystal skulls that says when all the 13 crystal skulls from the Americas are together again, there will be a dawn of a new era. All the collective consciousness and knowledge of the world will be available to humans. The skulls are said to represent cosmic significance: 12 of the skulls supposedly correlate with planets, while the 13th skull, located at the center of the circle, symbolizes collective consciousness. The belief is that once these skulls are reunited, they will trigger a spiritual awakening, raising the consciousness of the planet.

Harley Swift Deer Reagan claimed that when the 12 skulls were arranged in a circle with the 13th in the middle, representing higher knowledge, that is when we could expect this consciousness awakening. However, there is some ambiguity about whether these skulls come from our planetary system or from another. Initially believed to be located in South America and connected to the ancient Mayan civilization, the skulls are now thought to be scattered around the world.

There is a lot to say about Harley Swift-Deer Reagan. His lineage as a Cherokee and/or Navajo medicine person has been called into question. I was taught by my mentor Hibiscus Moon that he was of mixed ancestry with Cherokee and had trained with a medicine person in the “Navajo” tribe, or maybe Cherokee. This is the thing about these fake lineages: they are fake. They don’t make sense, and we repeat them as though they should be taken seriously. Not only did he not seem to have any Native heritage, he also didn’t train with any Native medicine people of the Americas. There is an extensive post from Friederich Abel, a journalist who spend time with the Navajo people in the Southwest. After he retired, he researched Swift-Deer for lineage and truthiness, and it seemed he was simply bamboozling the new-age community. I loved Mr. Abel’s research and care in this subject. As someone who never wants to subscribe to this culturally appropriated new-agey history, I feel it is my responsibility to debunk his channelings and really correct the record. Mr. Abel’s post was so comprehensive that I thought it important to give you an opportunity to read it yourself. The link to the original post is in this pdf, if you want to read other people’s thoughts on his research as well, but I find it compelling enough to nix all of Swift-Deer’s so-called channelings.

Back to the skulls, there are a number of these “original skulls” that travel around the country. They are human-sized, and each one of them is said to be a depository of certain information, so they need to communicate with each other. And this is the thing with skull work, having skulls in your collection helps connect you with that universal consciousness and the original 13 skulls. I have heard they need to be clear quartz crystal, but I know that many of us collect skulls of all types of crystals and stones. People meditate on their skull’s name, their certain knowledge set, and connect them to themselves and other skulls.

The legend centers around 13 original crystal skulls, though, some of which are said to have been “discovered” on archaeological expeditions. Others came to the owner through mystical means. Some well-known skulls are "MAX," "Synergy," and "Sha Na Ra." According to Jodi Serota, MAX’s caretaker:

"MAX is considered by many, including the British Museum, to be one of the rarest artifacts ever found. Estimated to be at least 10,000 years old, MAX was found in a tomb in Guatemala in the 1920’s. Used by Mayan priests for healing and prayer, the skull was given to Norbu Chen, a powerful healer of the Tibetan sect of Red Hat Lamas for use in his journey as a healer.

Max, along with other ancient crystal skulls, remains a mystery with regard to its origin, including who carved it and where it is from. Many who have been in the presence of these crystal skulls feel that they are from other dimensional realms and perhaps were used by ancient civilizations (including Atlantis and Lemuria) to sustain contact between Star Beings and the human race.

Others who have touched the skulls have had a range of experiences including receiving instantaneous healing, information, visions of other worlds and the experience of unusual sounds and expanded intuitive abilities. To this day, MAX is used as a tool for awakening consciousness and accelerating healing and growth on all levels."

You can read the fascinating history of Sha Na Ra here. 

Origins & Doubts

The idea that these crystal skulls are ancient, perhaps originating from sunken civilizations like Atlantis or Lemuria, or even extraterrestrial sources, has been the obvious point of contention. Some suggest they may be from the Pleiades star cluster. However, historical and archaeological evidence often contradict these claims. When you have sources like channelings or impressions, it is impossible to prove lineage.

Despite being attributed to pre-Columbian Mesoamerican cultures like the Aztecs or Maya, none of the skulls in museum collections have been unearthed from verified archeological excavations. In fact, the type of quartz used in many of these skulls does not come from the regions where they were supposedly found. Archaeologists and scientists have determined that the skulls were likely made using modern lapidary techniques, which were not available in ancient times. For example, tests on crystal skulls held by institutions like the British Museum and the Smithsonian reveal that they were carved using rotary tools and abrasives standard in the 19th and 20th centuries.

Early Skull Discoveries & Debunking Myths

One of the earliest known crystal skulls brought to the British Museum in 1856 was a small artifact whose origins remain unclear. By 1863, larger skulls appeared, often associated with collectors such as the French antiquities dealer Eugène Boban, known for selling Mesoamerican artifacts. Boban’s skulls and others acquired during the same period were examined and determined to have been carved with modern equipment.

One of the most famous crystal skulls, the Mitchell-Hedges skull, is often cited in discussions about the legend. However, the origin story told by its owners, Mitchell-Hedges and his daughter Anna, has been largely discredited. They claimed to have discovered the skull under a Mayan altar in Belize, but documents show that the skull was actually purchased at a Sotheby’s auction from another collector, Sydney Burney. In 1970, the Mitchell-Hedges skull, or the Skull of Doom, was examined, and experts found it carved with modern tools. Despite these findings, the story of the skull’s supposed powers has continued to inspire fascination.

Modern Skepticism and Scientific Analysis

In the 20th century, many crystal skulls, including those housed at the British Museum and the Smithsonian, underwent scientific scrutiny. Advanced tools like scanning electron microscopes were used to analyze the skulls’ surfaces. Researchers determined that the skulls had been crafted using modern techniques, some as recently as the 1950s. For example, the Smithsonian skull was worked with silicon carbide, a synthetic material that didn’t exist until the late 19th century.

In fact, research from the British Museum points to most of these skulls being crafted in Germany, a region known in the late 19th century for producing detailed quartz and crystal pieces. The type of crystal used in the skulls is thought to come from Brazil or Madagascar, which would have been out of reach for pre-Columbian civilizations.

Given these findings and that none of these skulls have ever been discovered in official archaeological digs, the British Museum believes that the famous crystal skulls are likely not ancient relics but rather modern creations. All that being said, Richard A. Lovett and Scot Hoffman wrote a piece on National Geographic about Crystal Skulls notes, “The fact remains that no one knows for sure who made these skulls and when. And since there is currently no way to determine the age of such inorganic objects accurately, the mystery will likely continue.”

How to use Crystal Skulls

Despite the debunking of the ancient artifact myth, crystal skulls are still powerful tools for those of us who use earth medicine in our personal and professional practice. Crystal skulls are said to hold mystical powers and store ancient knowledge. Meditation with the skull helps unlock this stored information.

Conclusion

While the legend of the crystal skulls has woven its way into popular culture, even inspiring characters like Indiana Jones, much of the narrative has been debunked by modern science. The skulls in major museum collections are now understood to have been crafted with modern equipment, and their connections to ancient Mesoamerican cultures are questionable at best. While some enthusiasts continue attributing mystical significance to certain skulls, the broader archaeological community regards most crystal skulls as 19th-century fabrications.

I share all this information not to poo-poo beliefs in the skulls or their value but to say, do we need a mystical past to find messages in these powerfully carved healing tools? Crystal healers and metaphysical practitioners, maybe partially fueled by the allure of ancient civilizations, cosmic connections, and the tantalizing possibility of hidden knowledge stored within the skulls, have meditated with skulls, channeled incredibly rich and valuable knowledge and messages, and found healing with skull work. There are healers in my area who channel messages from different skulls. Others use them in their healing work. I certainly have and will continue to. I work with an obsidian skull for ancestor work, for example, and a fossilized coral skull for deep healing work with the Earth. While scientific evidence points to a more mundane origin, the mystery of the crystal skulls continues to captivate those who are open to their mystical or extraterrestrial possibilities.

There is an interesting piece in the 2014 Rock and Gem magazine about crystal skulls.

Time, the Destroyer

Dear Time Bandits,

My Shamanic teacher once said during a business coaching call, “if I can give you one piece of advice.” I paused. This nugget will be magick, I thought. “Everything is going to take you two to three times longer than you think it will.”

At the time, I didn’t think that was so insightful. I used to be good at time management, but now, I realize it is the best bit of advice…schedule things 2-3 times longer than you expect. Set expectations low. You know how the Two of Pentacles shows a guy juggling everything and looking slick, but when he is reversed everything falls everywhere and the illusion of having it together is totally gone? Yeah, that is me right now. Reversed. Everything is taking me soooo long. Am I in slo-mo, or am I practicing more self-care and thus cannot get as much done? 

Maybe choice 2, but also a little of both.

In the end, the time thing is a big deal. I unwind my programming around time. Like a kitten with yarn, it is just a big tangled mess, weaving in and around the house, knotting and fraying, and my potted plants are suffering. When I was a kid, my mother was always late. We used to call it Panamanian Standard Time-15 minutes after start time. As an adult, lateness gives  me agita. I start to freak out and stress everyone out. As my youngest says tearing up, "Stop hurrying, mama." Then I am early and sit in the car like a crazy person waiting for someone else to show up so I can look normal.

What do I feel about time now? I can give you a thousand examples of time speeding and a thousand more of it being slow and plodding this last year. I cried because there wasn't enough time, and cried when I felt like time was not moving fast enough. When I had cancer, I kept reminding myself that time was an illusion, and I could jump ahead to the good stuff, but I didn't and I couldn't.


Most days, I wake up with ants in my pants and don’t stop moving. My leg bounces all day. I drive fast. I chew my nails.  I stutter and get caught on words because my tongue cannot keep up with my brain. I run into hallway corners because it is wasting my time to follow the giant human size space I am supposed to be walking within. As a middle aged person, I cannot believe how long I have been alive and how fast it all has gone.


But since I was released to my own devices in the work machine, I especially feel like time has been moving so quickly, which I have been moving through mud, losing time when I write and create, think and meditate. The day is gone and my schedule, while full and creative, was not as well-managed as I wanted it to be. Time stalks us. Kyra said in our latest podcast—I don’t think self-sabotage exists…we just have to look at what needs we are neglecting. And maybe I am finally meeting my needs, and that just takes extra minutes in the day. And I want to practice at a slower pace, savoring the moments of magick throughout my life. When I think about time, I also think about mortality. Time is the Goddess of Destruction, Kali. 

I read a post on Facebook that set me right on my ideas of Kali, and of course, changed everything. I used to think Kali was the goddess of Destruction and Justice and Rage. My sacred anger manifest in visions of her revenge. I called her in, worshipped at her altar, especially with my work around healing sexual trauma. She came at an important time, but I totally misunderstood why she came. I thought it was for my anger, but Shivani Hawkins shared this on Facebook a few years ago. I come back to it again and again.

Kālī is not the goddess of anger…She is Śiva's direct power, wisdom, and love. She is the power of meditation. Yes, she is described as an effulgent, luminous darkness because that is in part what the inner world looks like when you are meditating.

Kālī…destroys EVERYTHING, because TIME destroys everything, including the construct of self and existence itself. 

Is that scary? Of course it is. Why do you think you keep avoiding meditation practice?

In her mythology, she first kills off the bad guys (harmful beliefs). Then she kills off the good guys ("good" beliefs). Finally, she even cuts off her own head (Chinnamasta Kālī) because even SHE does not exist. Nothing is spared from her "wrath" (but is it wrath really?) because nothing but beloved Śiva - the supreme Oneness - is real.

Shivani’s powerful post unlocked something in me when I saw it. I have not been praying to Sacred Rage and Destruction. I have been praying to Time and Meditation. I have been praying for the illusions I hold to be made clear, to break down my patterns, to rescue me from me. I have been saying, Dark Mother, Sacred Time, help me see the illusions that keep me in chains. And she responded with lessons:

Your elders grow old, get sick, and die, but so do pets and babies sometimes. Just sit with that.

Your body is impermanent, child. Breasts are used to feed children, but you can still live without them. You can live without a womb. Cancer will show you that. Just sit with that.

You are not your body. Your body will die too one day. It may be tomorrow. We cannot control when or where, but we will all not have a body. Just sit with that.

You, your idea of you, will be destroyed too, because you too are an illusion. You are a result of a million actions and those actions, forgotten and unimportant, will be lost. Just sit with that.

Sit, daughter, sit still and meditate. And when you are not afraid, sit some more.


I sit. Kali destroys because time destroys. Everything is impermanent, except all that is, which we are also part of, even if there isn’t a we.  I have re-engaged the philosophical part of my brain. It is like my day job stopped and my body was like Sit. Contemplate egolessness. Read. Feel small. Move in sacred ways. Sit again. 

Do I have monkey mind? Yes. 

Do I have ants in my pants? Yes. 

Do I open my eyes at five minutes thinking it has been 30? Yes.

Do I still sit? Yes.

I want to share another paragraph of Shivani’s post:

This is full-blown liberation here. Not just freedom from what is harmful to us as mammals in human bodies, but freedom from every thought, concept, and self-construct that exists to separate us from the field of Beingness itself. From the pain of separation itself. She (Kali) is the vehicle of pure mystical union, where only God remains.

The Myth of Separation, Pixie calls it, the idea that we are all different and special and separate from the Earth, from Love, from the Universe. We are all one. And when we accept that, we can heal. When we surrender to time, allow the destruction to be part of us, returning us again to the whole of consciousness, we experience all that is. 

See what I mean about time? My wandering brain explores long forgotten dark tunnels, digging into muscle memory of thinking about thinking, returning from its hibernation into both old and new landscape. I guess that happens when I just sit with it all.

I didn’t mean to say all this. I honestly, just  meant to come in and just say:

I’m back, bitches!

But you know, like I know, I was never really gone. I was working. Sometimes on me. Sometimes just logging miles on the Mami-mobile I have been taking a minute to breathe and think and that is giving me some amazing ideas for offerings. Until then, if you want to connect with me, here is what I am offering:

- Private one-on-one shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one distant shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions through Zoom or recording

 - Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions through Zoom or recording

 -  The Moon + Stone Healing Membership which includes
        - Private Membership in our FB Group
        - Collective Readings at the New Moon + Full Moon
        - a monthly shamanic journey
        - Live Circle time with me, community and more in the Moon + Stone Membership group

The Moon + Stone Healing Memberships

In the last few years, as my clientele has grown both at home and online, I have found myself in the precarious position of balancing not just my work life and my home life, but also different aspects of my work. I basically have three jobs—my career at Alta View Wellness Center as a shamanic healer, teacher, tarot reader, and circle leader; I have my own online practice at the Moon + Stone Healing where I write exclusive content and insights on tarot, crystals, energy healing, shamanic healing, soul and shadow work, and spirituality as well as offer distance and online work and teachings; and I am the head of Student Success, Curriculum Specialist, and Crystal Coach at Hibiscus Moon Crystal Academy. I am writing and creating an oracle card deck called Cycles, as well as a few other books.

I find myself in this precarious position often. With all the things I offer--teaching, circles, healing sessions, one-on-one healing, reading tarot, teaching tarot--I often have to make choices on what to focus on at any given time. It means I am often an artist not always arting, a writer not always writing, a tarot reader not always reading. I want to give my readers and subscribers more of me, but my time is so limited.

In the last few years, I have sometimes stepped back from offering Tarot readings, or online sessions here and there, just to catch up with my email. What I sacrifice are things like writing my newsletters, offering informational posts on the blog, offering monthly Tarot readings to the public, journeying for our community, developing new offerings on my website, and deepening my presence online to my friends around the world. One of the reasons I step back from these things first is that they are a huge emotional investment. I pour myself into my work. I have never been good at half-assing things. Writing and putting things out in the world takes an outrageous amount of time and energy.

Because I have children to feed and a practice to support, I often choose those offerings where I can earn a living. Money lives in that unspeakable realm, like shadow work and trauma healing and politics, in our metaphysical community. Friends and colleagues struggle sometimes to make ends meet and never mention it to their students, clients or colleagues. We are asked constantly to offer of ourselves for free, even as we are overdrafting in our checking accounts. I’ve never been one to shy away from hard conversations. I want to offer it all for free, but I simply cannot. I often talk to my students about boundaries with our psychic and healer selves, we cannot just give of ourselves endlessly, because there will be nothing left of us. I suppose the quarantine has given me fuel to try to make the things I am passionate about available in a way that also sustains me financially and spiritually.

So, today, I am here to talk about one of the things I have been toying with for a long time—a monthly Tarot Subscription. I am calling it the Moon + Stone Healing Memberships. The Moon + Stone Healing Memberships is a tiered subscription membership that offers different levels of membership and price points so you can connect with regular readings and insight done by me around the moon cycles. They start in May 2020. These are things I always want to do--pull some cards for the collective on the New Moon, or offer a quick shamanic journey, but simply cannot afford to give away. So, I tried to find a way to sustain me, and offer the things on my to-do list that I never get to. Each collective reading will be offered via audio recording on SoundCloud, which you can access as often or as much as you would like. These membership subscriptions renew every month. You can cancel them at any time, though refunds will not be given after the content is delivered each month. Please read each offering carefully. There are only two levels with PERSONAL readings (the Sun + the World). 

The baseline offering is the one that you already belong to simply by being a subscriber to my blog and newsletter.  I will make this email mailing list worth your while. I will do a monthly video tarot reading posted on my blog, in which I will pull a card for the month, talk about how it affects us personally and globally, and talk about some earth medicine allies. I will post this on my YouTube page, to my blog, all my social media, and send the link in my newsletter. That is what all of you receive as a subscriber to this newsletter or if you subscribe to my RSS feed, or if you follow me on Instagram or on FB. It is free and part of what you get as a subscriber. If you decide you want more, awesome. There is no obligation to do that. But if you decide to subscribe to one of my membership tiers, my commitment to you is that this tier membership program not only will give you awesome content, but will fund more free offerings on my site as well.

STRENGTH TIER $20
The first tier includes three options you can choose:

1. a monthly full moon collective reading (available a few days before the Full Moon)
2. a monthly new moon collective reading (available a few days before the New Moon)
3. a monthly collective shamanic journey (available in the beginning of the month)

These collective tarot readings will be conducted for the entire group of subscribers. They are not personalized. I talk about the energy I am feeling around this Full or New Moon period. These readings will be about 30 minutes long and I will weave in ritual ideas, earth medicine allies, including stones, animal, and plant medicine allies for this moon cycle. These readings will be offered via audio, and available as a private SoundCloud link, so you can listen on the go. You can listen as often as you would like. They will come in an email that will talk about the energy and have exclusive content for each moon. The Shamanic Journey taps into the energy I am picking up for the month (you can view the free monthly reading available on my website free each month). The Journey takes you deeper into the work, so you can do your own journeywork with the medicine arising for you personally each month.

HERMIT TIER $35
This second tier includes two of the three above options, so you can choose the full + new moon collective readings, which means you will be hearing from me twice a month with insights about the moon cycles and what medicine to work with, or you can choose the shamanic journey and one of the moon readings.

HIGH PRIESTESS TIER $47
This tier includes both the full + New moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide

SUN TIER $74
In the Sun Tier, you get both the full + new moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide, plus you get a personal one-card Tarot reading delivered via audio (15-20 minutes) sent to you either the new or full moon.

WORLD TIER $92
In the World Tier, you get it all—both the full + new moon collective readings + the monthly guided shamanic journey with an animal guide, plus you get a personal 30-minute Tarot reading sent to you via a private SoundCloud link before either the new or full moon.

Again these tiers are the starting point for me. I plan to add more incentives and offerings to these, so if you have any ideas or wishes, respond to this email with ideas. My goal is to ensure that no matter what level you choose to subscribe at, you’ll get back more than you give.

Mother Earth Father Sky Meditation

On Sunday, April 12th, I was invited by the Community for Holistic Integration (CHI) to lead a meditation at 11:11am. This meditation is one I do when I need to ground and open to Spirit. I think of this as a connection to all living beings and to all that is. Connecting with deep roots into Mother Earth and then connecting up with Father Sky, plugging into Spirit. I opened this meditation with the poem, i thank you God by e.e. cummings

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any—lifted from the no
of all nothing—human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Please enjoy this meditation and come back anytime you are needing connection, grounding or more.

This poem was originally published in Xaipe1 (New York: Oxford University Press, 1950), reissued in 2004 by Liveright, an imprint of W.W. Norton & Company.