Episode 72: Positivity + Chronic Conditions with Julie Taylor

Today’s episode is near and dear to my heart, as Julie and I dive into living with Chronic Pain and Chronic conditions and positivity. I am so honored to introduce Julie Taylor. Julie is an Endo and IC Warrior who's passionate about mindset as medicine. Endo is an abbreviation for endometriosis and IC stands for Interstitial Cystitis (a painful bladder syndrome). While healing with these chronic conditions, she learned the power of crystals and energy to heal and how using a positive mindset as a tool to help manage her moods and emotions helped her body build resilience. Julie's formal degrees are in writing and early childhood ed, though the innate cheerleader at home in her heart drives her to write words, she hopes will spark a mood or mindset that might brighten things for others. Julie is the author of a children's book, Blue Hissy Highness and the Shiny Stones (you can buy that here). The book focuses on how a positive mindset can reframe and heal. It also reminds children that we can move toward mutual acceptance and forgiveness, but also the very adult reminder that acceptance isn't a one-and-done ideal—a lesson we need to revisit as we age. Julie also tends a website and an online space called Stone Spelling & Witchery, which is also the name of her private Facebook group Stone Spelling & Witchery to connect and share the metaphysical and mystical, celebrate earth and moon cycles, share spells, post favorite crystals, chat about witchiness, and ask questions. Julie curates a beautiful community that serves as a magical hub for joy and positivity.

Julie and I talk about living with chronic conditions and chronic pain, how we manage our spirit during times of flares. We talk about positivity, staying positive, toxic positivity or not toxic positivity, the benefits and downfalls of emotional bypassing, and what Julie has terms LoMo—or how to manage Low Moods and shift them to help with chronic conditions. Honestly, this is such a refreshing conversation for me—I could talk about pain and living with autoimmune disorders without censor. As someone who has to manage many chronic autoimmune conditions, speaking my truth about living with pain and fatigue feels like a long deep exhale, as I often just go through life sucking it up. Julie is so wise, intelligent, and articulate about her approach to living with physical challenges.

Here is the latest podcast:

You can also follow this link to listen on Spotify. Episode 72: Positivity & Chronic Conditions with Julie Taylor. You can also listen on any of the podcast services you can think of—Apple Podcasts, Pocketcasts, Amazon Music, I Heart Radio, Google Podcasts, Podbean and whatever you listen.

+ + + +

In other news, this upcoming week, Julie is popping in for a guest post about Crystal Skulls. Monday, I will have a piece on the history of Crystal Skulls, debunking some myths, and talking about skullies in general. I will have a cool Tarot Layout using the Skull as a basis, and I will be sharing a journal entry about my meditation experience with my Fossilized Skull. All SKULLZ—this week!

Episode 70: The Rat Chronicles with Dr. Amy Kittelstrom

Episode 70: the Rat Chronicles with Dr. Amy Kittelstrom

Dr. Amy Kittelstrom, is a professor of history at Sonoma State University and author of the book the Religion of Democracy (https://www.amazon.com/Religion-Democracy-Liberals-American-Tradition/dp/1594204853) . I asked this incredibly accomplished historian to talk about “Rats”, the rodents and the proverbial rats of the world. We talk about what it is like to be a single mother homeowner who needs some home repairs done and rats removed from the house. I am really grateful for the opportunity to share Dr. Kittelstrom, one of my closest friends, with my world.

 or listen on Spotify here:

Episode 69: Workaholism, Self-care, and Dropping with Angie

In this episode, which I initially wrote as an open letter to my clients and friends, is actually a series of writings about workaholism, alcoholism, codependency, self-care, self-preservation, being of service to others and some of my history. It is split up in 6 parts. I hope it resonates.

I also mention some things. Last words are Those last four words are not mine. It is Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian practice that combines love, forgiveness, repentance, and gratitude in four powerful phrases. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I Thank you. I love you.

 Links I mention:

⁠https://reductress.com/⁠

⁠https://www.amazon.com/Laura-Dernoot-Lipsky-Trauma-Stewardship/dp/B07VPNP3XF/⁠

Time, the Destroyer

Dear Time Bandits,

My Shamanic teacher once said during a business coaching call, “if I can give you one piece of advice.” I paused. This nugget will be magick, I thought. “Everything is going to take you two to three times longer than you think it will.”

At the time, I didn’t think that was so insightful. I used to be good at time management, but now, I realize it is the best bit of advice…schedule things 2-3 times longer than you expect. Set expectations low. You know how the Two of Pentacles shows a guy juggling everything and looking slick, but when he is reversed everything falls everywhere and the illusion of having it together is totally gone? Yeah, that is me right now. Reversed. Everything is taking me soooo long. Am I in slo-mo, or am I practicing more self-care and thus cannot get as much done? 

Maybe choice 2, but also a little of both.

In the end, the time thing is a big deal. I unwind my programming around time. Like a kitten with yarn, it is just a big tangled mess, weaving in and around the house, knotting and fraying, and my potted plants are suffering. When I was a kid, my mother was always late. We used to call it Panamanian Standard Time-15 minutes after start time. As an adult, lateness gives  me agita. I start to freak out and stress everyone out. As my youngest says tearing up, "Stop hurrying, mama." Then I am early and sit in the car like a crazy person waiting for someone else to show up so I can look normal.

What do I feel about time now? I can give you a thousand examples of time speeding and a thousand more of it being slow and plodding this last year. I cried because there wasn't enough time, and cried when I felt like time was not moving fast enough. When I had cancer, I kept reminding myself that time was an illusion, and I could jump ahead to the good stuff, but I didn't and I couldn't.


Most days, I wake up with ants in my pants and don’t stop moving. My leg bounces all day. I drive fast. I chew my nails.  I stutter and get caught on words because my tongue cannot keep up with my brain. I run into hallway corners because it is wasting my time to follow the giant human size space I am supposed to be walking within. As a middle aged person, I cannot believe how long I have been alive and how fast it all has gone.


But since I was released to my own devices in the work machine, I especially feel like time has been moving so quickly, which I have been moving through mud, losing time when I write and create, think and meditate. The day is gone and my schedule, while full and creative, was not as well-managed as I wanted it to be. Time stalks us. Kyra said in our latest podcast—I don’t think self-sabotage exists…we just have to look at what needs we are neglecting. And maybe I am finally meeting my needs, and that just takes extra minutes in the day. And I want to practice at a slower pace, savoring the moments of magick throughout my life. When I think about time, I also think about mortality. Time is the Goddess of Destruction, Kali. 

I read a post on Facebook that set me right on my ideas of Kali, and of course, changed everything. I used to think Kali was the goddess of Destruction and Justice and Rage. My sacred anger manifest in visions of her revenge. I called her in, worshipped at her altar, especially with my work around healing sexual trauma. She came at an important time, but I totally misunderstood why she came. I thought it was for my anger, but Shivani Hawkins shared this on Facebook a few years ago. I come back to it again and again.

Kālī is not the goddess of anger…She is Śiva's direct power, wisdom, and love. She is the power of meditation. Yes, she is described as an effulgent, luminous darkness because that is in part what the inner world looks like when you are meditating.

Kālī…destroys EVERYTHING, because TIME destroys everything, including the construct of self and existence itself. 

Is that scary? Of course it is. Why do you think you keep avoiding meditation practice?

In her mythology, she first kills off the bad guys (harmful beliefs). Then she kills off the good guys ("good" beliefs). Finally, she even cuts off her own head (Chinnamasta Kālī) because even SHE does not exist. Nothing is spared from her "wrath" (but is it wrath really?) because nothing but beloved Śiva - the supreme Oneness - is real.

Shivani’s powerful post unlocked something in me when I saw it. I have not been praying to Sacred Rage and Destruction. I have been praying to Time and Meditation. I have been praying for the illusions I hold to be made clear, to break down my patterns, to rescue me from me. I have been saying, Dark Mother, Sacred Time, help me see the illusions that keep me in chains. And she responded with lessons:

Your elders grow old, get sick, and die, but so do pets and babies sometimes. Just sit with that.

Your body is impermanent, child. Breasts are used to feed children, but you can still live without them. You can live without a womb. Cancer will show you that. Just sit with that.

You are not your body. Your body will die too one day. It may be tomorrow. We cannot control when or where, but we will all not have a body. Just sit with that.

You, your idea of you, will be destroyed too, because you too are an illusion. You are a result of a million actions and those actions, forgotten and unimportant, will be lost. Just sit with that.

Sit, daughter, sit still and meditate. And when you are not afraid, sit some more.

I sit. Kali destroys because time destroys. Everything is impermanent, except all that is, which we are also part of, even if there isn’t a we.  I have re-engaged the philosophical part of my brain. It is like my day job stopped and my body was like Sit. Contemplate egolessness. Read. Feel small. Move in sacred ways. Sit again. 

Do I have monkey mind? Yes. 

Do I have ants in my pants? Yes. 

Do I open my eyes at five minutes thinking it has been 30? Yes.

Do I still sit? Yes.

I want to share another paragraph of Shivani’s post:

This is full-blown liberation here. Not just freedom from what is harmful to us as mammals in human bodies, but freedom from every thought, concept, and self-construct that exists to separate us from the field of Beingness itself. From the pain of separation itself. She (Kali) is the vehicle of pure mystical union, where only God remains.

The Myth of Separation, Pixie calls it, the idea that we are all different and special and separate from the Earth, from Love, from the Universe. We are all one. And when we accept that, we can heal. When we surrender to time, allow the destruction to be part of us, returning us again to the whole of consciousness, we experience all that is. 

See what I mean about time? My wandering brain explores long forgotten dark tunnels, digging into muscle memory of thinking about thinking, returning from its hibernation into both old and new landscape. I guess that happens when I just sit with it all.

I didn’t mean to say all this. I honestly, just  meant to come in and just say:

I’m back, bitches!

But you know, like I know, I was never really gone. I was working. Sometimes on me. Sometimes just logging miles on the Mami-mobile I have been taking a minute to breathe and think and that is giving me some amazing ideas for offerings. Until then, if you want to connect with me, here is what I am offering:

- Private one-on-one shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions both in person at Alta View Wellness Center in Harrisburg, PA

- Private one-on-one distant shamanic earth medicine (crystal healing) sessions through Zoom or recording

 - Private one-on-one spiritual counseling tarot sessions through Zoom or recording

 -  The Moon + Stone Healing Membership which includes
        - Private Membership in our FB Group
        - Collective Readings at the New Moon + Full Moon
        - a monthly shamanic journey
        - Live Circle time with me, community and more in the Moon + Stone Membership group

Date in Peace Podcast with Lauren Smith: Building Peaceful Relationships with Crystals & Tarot

I was so honored to talk to Lauren Smith on her podcast Date in Peace, which is all about dating. Lauren Smith is an author of the book the Mindful Dating Journal and creator of an app called the MettaDate Journal App. The Mindful Dating Journal is your guide to using mindfulness to find a deep connection. Explore your past and track your present to set the foundation for a fulfilling relationship and the app, MettaDate Journal App is a simple mindfulness tool for modern daters. Lauren and I met many many years ago when she was the youngest member of a meditation circle I belonged to where I learned to channel and talk to Angels. I remember Lauren’s vibrance and connect to the Elemental realm as such a beautiful addition to our circle of older women exploring the metaphysical together. I really loved talking about Tarot and Crystals and Dating. You can follow Lauren here on IG: https://www.instagram.com/mettadate/ and at her website: Lauren Smith Studio

Episode 12: Tarot's Card of the Year for 2020 with Kyra Paules

I love me a good conversation with Kyra. It was so fun to talk about the Card of the Year (Emperor) for 2020 and the Card for 2021 (Hierophant). So we talk Tarot and the energy of the past two years and how we see archetype and tarot work play out on a larger scale with this work.

Episodes 10 + 11: Essay about Grief, Suffering + Screaming

I took a little turn on my podcast as we were entering the holiday season to just riff on some ideas I have shared before, but seem relevant every year which is grief and suffering and how deeply important they are to just be in when we feel them. I just spent two episodes talking about all of this. If you want to hear some thoughts about why spiritual bypassing sucks, here ya go!


Episode 9: Introverts & Spirituality with Alison Truitt

Today’s episode features my friend Alison Truitt. I met Alison a few years ago in a Tarot class I was teaching where Ali was the only student. We went deep really quickly, as tarot forces you to do. We share many of the same practices and rituals and especially our way of being in the world, because we are both Introverts. That might be surprising to some of you, especially because I am so public with my work. But I think the defining aspect of being an introvert is where you draw your energy—alone or with others. Alison and I decided to explore this topic today, talking about being an introvert, a highly sensitive person or an empath and our spiritual journey. I really wanted to have a conversation about this topic, because those of us in the spiritual realms often talk about the power of community and circles, but this is not everyone’s comfort zone. Many of us introverts are solitary practitioners and practice our own religious or spiritual practices that are separate from organized religions. So, I wanted to ask Alison: What is circle like as an introvert? What is your practice like? We also explored the tarot archetype of the Hermit, the introvert’s guide in a spiritual world. So, Alison was born and raised in the ridges and foothills of the Appalachians of Pennsylvania. As she describes in the podcast, she finds immeasurable solace in and inspiration from Mother Earth. She believes that Nature’s happenings are a reflection of one’s own rhythms. Alison is also guided by the cycles of the seasons and the moon and is strongly connected to both her Celtic heritage and the Divine Feminine. She seeks to honor all that has shaped her path as she looks inward to reclaim her soul's purpose for this lifetime and outward to manifest beauty and share it with others. Alison writes at her blog the Hermit’s Handicrafts at wordpress (I’ll put the link in the show notes) and she sells beautiful jewelry, malas and artwork around the journey of pregnancy, motherhood and beyond at her Etsy shop the Hermit’s handicrafts. Hope you enjoy this episode of Centered.

https://thehermitshandicrafts.wordpress.com/

https://www.etsy.com/shop/HermitHandicrafts

Episode 6: The Dead Baby Club with Jess Southwood

Today’s conversation is with one of my closest friends Jess Southwood. Unlike my other guests who work in the realm of spirituality, Jess is a Business consultant and facilitator, with a particular focus on leadership development, team dynamics and creativity in business. But honestly, I didn’t invite her to talk to me about her work, though it is fascinating and has taken her all over the world. I didn’t invite Jess to talk because she loves yoga and writing and poetry. I invited Jess here because we share something in common—we re both bereaved mothers. We “met” in 2009, after our second daughters were stillborn. And through our grief, we both sought community on the internet and through starting our own blogs about grief and mothering. We were both writerly and creative and irreverent and formed an immediate and all-encompassing bond. I wrote at a blog called Still life with Circles, and she wrote at a blog called afteriris and then we both were invited to write for the Literary Hub Glow in the Woods, founded by Kate Inglis as a place to write more literarily about what Kate titled babyloss. I later became the editor for a few years. We spent time in person together, and have maintained our friendship for the last 11 years, growing together and experiencing more of us. I wanted to talk to Jess about sisterhood, spiritual bonding, emotional intimacy, grieving publicly, and you know, dead babies. We say that quite a bit in this episode. We talk about it bluntly, like you find in the community of grieving women on the internet. There is a whole community. Most people who have never lost a child have no idea there is a corner of the internet where women talk about the death of their baby—over and over again. We write stories and exchange emails and have an entire community of bereaved mothers and fathers. Jess is an extraordinary woman. I feel so blessed to have her as one of my best friends. As you can hear from our conversation, she is deeply thoughtful, funny, intelligent, self-aware and interesting. Jess’ s first collection of poetry can be found at littlelosses.com. She has a Masters degree in Shakespeare Studies from the Shakespeare Institute in Stratford-upon-Avon. She lives in Birmingham, UK, with her husband, three children, two cats, one dog, and too many books. I hoe you enjoy my conversation with Jess Southwood.

My grief blog: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com

Jess’s first poetry collection: https://littlelosses.com/

Glow in the Woods: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/

We mentioned a few things in this podcast including the Right Where I Am Project.

First year: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/p/right-where-i-am-project.html

The last year I did this: http://stilllifewithcircles.blogspot.com/2014/07/right-where-i-am-five-years-and-almost.html

Kate Inglis who coined the term Babyloss’s writing: http://www.kateinglis.com/

Kara Chipoletti Jones https://linktr.ee/griefandcreativity

Niobe and Dead Baby Jokes: her blog

Niobe’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Niobe

Angie’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Angie

Jess’s GITW posts: http://www.glowinthewoods.com/blog/tag/Jess

Episode 5: Coming Out of the Broom Closet with Kristin Gallagher

Eclectic Pagan Witch Kristin Gallagher and I sat down for a little talk about coming out of the closet—the broom closet, that is, and being a public witch. It is something we have privately talked about for years—sharing our experiences with being public and sharing our personal spirituality. I absolutely love Kristin and her energy. She has gotten super popular on TikTok, sharing her witchy content and Witchy Mamma lifestyle.

You can find Kristin on TikTok at @onewitchymamma  or on Instagram at witchy.mamma – Instagram and coming soon (no videos up yet) WitchyMamma – Youtube. I hope you enjoy my conversation with Kristin Gallagher. Hope you enjoy my conversation with Kristin!

Episode 4: Tarot's Gatekeepers of Shadow with Kyra Paules

You know, I love good conversations with laughter and insight. Kyra and I always seem to have these interesting wandering conversations that are enlightening and interesting. This one started as a conversation about the “dark cards” of the Major Arcana. We were basically using the Rider-Waite-Smith deck for reference and start with the Hanged Man and end with the Tower, talking about this part of the spiritual journey through the Major Arcana.

Episode 3: the Minister & the Shaman with Reverend Howard West

I am so honored to share this conversation with my friend and spiritual advisor Rev. Howard West. Howard is an ordained Presbyterian Minister with at Masters of Divinity from Princeton Theological Seminary and he specializes in geriatric spiritual care, dementia, end-of-life care and caregiver support. He has served for more than 15 years as Executive Director of Spiritual Life Services of Country Meadows Retirement Communities.  Howard is also a trained counselor with a Master’s degree in Counseling from the University of Pittsburgh with almost three decades of experience collaborating with self-help groups that address family and relationship problems, addiction/codependency, depression and other mental health issues.  Howard has a B.A. in East Asian Studies (China specialization) from Penn State University, is fluent in Mandarin Chinese and is a daily practitioner of Chinese martial arts including Taichi.  He also has a long-term interest in eastern spirituality and its impact on physical, emotional and spiritual health.  When Howard and I met, his first question to me was, “Are you a shaman?” From there, we became fast friends. Our spiritual connection runs deep, always coalescing in discussions about how much we actually have spiritually in common. I once said to him, we should really have a podcast called “the Minister and the Shaman” where we answer questions from people and I admit that when I started this podcast, I immediately thought of Howard and some of our amazing conversations about spirituality, religion, trauma, psychological issues, & emotional sobriety. I consider Howard to be one of the most important spiritual advisors, influences, and friends. We have birded together, as Howard has an uncanny ability to be observant and aware in nature. No mistake that he is an avid outdoorsman and nature photographer. His connection to the Earth and nature is profound and humbling. I’m so honored to have this as one of many conversations we will have together, so here is my conversation with Reverend Howard West.